Monday

Not Meant To Be-Part II

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was not meant to be a thrower.  People get hurt when I throw.  That's still true.

In case you're wondering.

Well.

I have an extensive list of things I'm not meant to be. The next one on the list involves hair.

Now, my dear ones, you must know by now that my hair issues run deep.  I mean, I have started a blog carnival dedicated entirely to my childhood 'fro that resulted from over-permage.

I wear my hair short now.  And I know you must be thinking, "Well, of course you do, considering all the permanent damage."

And while that is true, there is another reason:  I am not meant to be a hair-fixer.

Yes.  I'm at peace with this.  I came to terms with it many years ago.  Short and neat.  It's just for the best.

But.  God.  In all His wisdom, saw fit to give me two daughters.  I think He did this to stretch me. I had grown complacent in my hair care abilities.  Wash and Go has worked well for years.  But He desired for me to step outside my comfort zone.

And so, he gave me a daughter who wants me to fix her hair.  Daily.

I try.  I do.  My daughter has certain things in mind.  She explains them and I understand what she wants.  But then something strange happens.  And it's really out of my control.  My fumbling hands cannot produce her imagined results.

There is storming off.  Pouting.  And tears, my friends.  I dry my face and try to explain to my daughter:  I am not a professional.  Heck, I'm not even an amateur.  These words are heard in my home in abundance, "I am not meant to be a hair-fixer.  I'm sorry."

And yet, there is a disconnect because she continues to ask and I continue to try.  The other day, she brought home a library book.  It was a how-to book on French Braiding Your Doll's Hair.  She looked at me with her puppy dog eyes.  Of course, I have no faith in myself.  French Braiding is like an Olympic Hair event.

Well.  I poured over that book.  I memorized the images.  I slept on the book and hoped to absorb the hair care skill by osmosis.  I called the prayer chain.

And then I gave it a try.  The first attempt was a miserable failure.  The second, I got spasms.  The third, my arms got twisted behind my back and numbness set it.

Even my daughter was about to give up.  "Let me try, one more time."

And I think the very angels of Heaven helped me weave a beautiful braid into my daughter's head.  It was a miracle.

She gasped.  I screamed.  It was glorious.

And I've tried 4 other times to repeat that French Braid, to no avail. 

Because now, my daughter has hope.

But some things just aren't meant to be.


33 comments:

Karen said...

I am the same way! My daughter has taken to styling my hair, it's that sad.

Katie said...

:-) My mom was the same way. I learned by age 10 how to french braid my own hair!!

Then of course, I was given the task of braiding all my other sisters' hair... and I have 4 sisters!

Your daughter will learn in time :-D

Kisha said...

I am in your boat (is it getting crowded yet?) i can't do my hair and am barely able to do my daughters but she's still young enough that it doesn't matter to her.

Becky said...

I share your frustration.

I am hair inept in some ways too...I cannot for the life of me ever duplicate what the salon does for me...and I have more experience with my hair than they do. (It is kind of like when you send your rotten kids to a friends house and they behave well for them, but not for you. LOL)

So, here is where I feel your daughters pain.

I remember asking my mom to French braid my long locks as a kid, she didn't know how. Instead of learning, she said...sure I will do it...and started braiding my hair while speaking in a phoney French accent. Not so funny when you are 10 and you just want to look like your friends. Sigh.

Hilarious now though, I admit.

marky said...

You are not alone, my dd now 11 has been doing her own hair for some time now..
she knows my deep dark secret.. I am a beauty school drop out!

Heather said...

Tell your daughter that I can totally sympathize with her. The good news is that she'll probably learn how to do her hair really well (unless she's like me and the hair-fixing flaw is genetic). Try practicing on a doll's head to learn how to french braid - the doll can't complain when you don't get it right!

Edi said...

My dd had long beautiful hair but after MANY MANY tears and tangles that would not respond to detangler - we gave up and cut it relatively short.

I miss her long hair. I miss the braids and cute pony tails...the braids pinned to the top of her hair in summer...sigh. But now that she is almost 9 some of those things might be a bit too "youthful" for her anyway.

I never quite mastered the French Braid...

auds at barking mad said...

Wow I never knew there were so many other hair-challenged mamas out there! I feel so much better!

I too was cursed with two daughters. One with stick straight hair with the exception of the occasional wave, and the other, the Little Imp, has a head full of tight ringlets, courtesy of her mother's gene pool.

Years ago Meg gave up asking me to do anything cool with her hair. It just wasn't happening and she either had to make do with pony tails and pig tails and the occasional Little House on the Prarie braids, or learn to do it herself!

Then there is my little sister who can do almost anything to her own hair, including fantastic french braids and some other weird looking braid thing...personally I think she's a mutant freak because no one else in our family can do anything with hair!

Dawn said...

What? No pictures of the braid?!

When we lived in Virginia, I had a neighbor/friend who was also hair challenged. Her daughters regularly showed up at my front door with a request for a fancy braid or up-do. I could mark it on my calendar if there was a dance recital in their plans. Worked out good for me, too! My own daughter was a whispy-haired toddler at the time and couldn't even wear a hair bow. By the time she had enough hair to style, I was a pro!

So, find yourself another hair stylin' friend/neighbor and just send her over when the urge hits!

Dawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
World's Greatest Mommy said...

My daughters both have tons of gorgeous hair, but I'm inept when it comes to fixing it. I go for functional not fashionable.

The one who does a great job with our daughters' hair is my husband.

Although he's forbidden me from telling anyone at church that he does their hair anymore. He never said anything about the internet.

P.S. He loves you... said...

Girls...Girls...Girls...
Take a look at three cords, the center always weaves in the outer cords!
Not intended spiritualy...ain't that cool though!

Seriously you can do a beuatiful job weaving words...HAIR is not your enemy it's your friend and I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!
But keep yours short cause it's absolutly adorable on you!

I will post on this hairy subject just for your dd! With pix and instructortions english!

Suzie said...

I remember hating my mom doing my hair now I guess Ill pass that along to my baby once she gets some hair that is

Caution said...

I am very sad because I understand every.single.word you said. We have a dance recital next week. All that is required is a bun. So right now I would like to publically apologize to my daughter and her dance class for what will most certainly be the ugliest bun ever.

It All Started With a Kiss said...

My sisters could always do hair better than my mom ~ We practiced on each other.
But my oldest daughter thinks even combing her hair is tortuous. So fuggedabout styling it!

Alexia said...

I can't do hair either. I've been blessed with boys so far and that is good because I only know how to put my hair in a ponytail. I have shoulder-length hair and when I actually leave it down I get lots of compliments....I think it's because pple only see it down once a year LOL

nottryingforaboy said...

Hair is so not my strong suit either.

And now with three girls, I'm just screwed.

P.S. He loves you... said...

POSTED as PROMISED!

http://pshelovesyou.blogspot.com/2008/06/braiding-101.html

Come on over and compare the book you looked at to the "blogger" who cares!

Had fun!

Dawn ;0)

Tiff said...

Girl!!! You are not the only one who can't do a french braid. I can't even do it on myself. I tried with my daughter. But she has given up on my ability. THe only thing I can do it a pony tail!

LifeatTheCircus said...

I can totally relate to this...I too have 2 little girls and am very nervous. I can't braid at all. For now my 2 year old runs around pretty much with her hair as is. When I go all out and get "fancy" I slide in two clippy barrettes. The thought of braiding terrifies me!

Gotta GROW with it said...

welp...there ya go! another reason why i'm glad God gave me boys! i feel your pain though.

Miscellaneous From Missy said...

I am happy to see how many mom's can't fix hair. All this time, I thought I was alone in my daughter-discouraging. Mine is at the age where she wants me to color it! HA! I have explained over and over and over and over how happy she should be that I'm NOT coloring her hair, but she insists that it would be a bonding moment. Yeah right. More like a homicidal moment when she finally gets to see a mirror.

Mamasphere said...

Hair is a battle I'm willing to fight. Sometimes I've made my daughter sit down for over an HOUR before I was able to get it right. It may take me forever, but she looks like less of a ragamuffin if I try.

Lisa said...

I can't do hair either - good thing I don't have a daughter! My mother wasn't good either - I used to go to my friend across the street who was a little older and she would give me lovely french braids and pretty hairstyles.

Jess said...

I am so sorry! I completly get that..kinda. I thought I was good at fixing hair, but God gave me a creative kids that has an whole different idea of what her hair should look like.

Want to trade?

Valarie said...

It took me until Jessie was like 12 before I could actually braid or plat, as her great granny calls it, either one of the girls hair.

I don't know what happened to where I finally "got it". :)

mommypie said...

If my mother hadn't subjected me to the Dorothy Hamill way back when, I'd be majorly tempted to just cut my daughter's hair off. The combing and the detangling and the tears EVERY morning are NOT fun.

Jenn said...

Hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh after a long, tiring day!

Muthering Heights said...

Good for you! I'm terrible with hair too...I'm considering seeking professional help before my girls have enough hair for me to style!

The Fritz Facts said...

Man I love doing my dd hair, love her hair. I also can't wait until she can do it herself. It can be a pain, even when I know what I am doing.

My mom could never do my hair, and it was not fun letting her try.

Keep trying, something at sometime will click.

Karen said...

I also have short, unkempt hair that I despise doing anything to, and I have also been blessed with two girly girls. What they hey? I think God gets a good chuckle out of doing that to girls like us....

Jennie said...

That is why Drama Queen had short hair until Kindergarten and Missy Hoohaw will sport a bob until she goes to college. I can put in barrettes. Barely. More than that and I have to call in reinforcements.

Storm said...

I am the same way... I cannot do my hair... hence, no style.