Trouble is, when it comes to trust, there’s a catch. No matter how desperately you want it, you can’t manufacture trust on your own. Trust requires two ingredients: Your husband must become trustworthy, and you must trust again. Each of you is responsible for bringing one of the ingredients to the table.
Neither will be easy to provide. Becoming trustworthy will require an immense character change on his part, and that’s no small task. On your end, trusting your husband again will require obedience and submission to God, in spite of your scars. That won’t be easy, either.
- Brenda Stoeker, Every Heart Restored
I recommend open communication. We talked about everything (and we still do!) I wanted to help him fight. But at some point, it became unhealthy for trust-building for me to know of every temptation. Remember, it's not wrong or sinful to be tempted. Jesus, Himself, showed us that. My hubby got in an accountability group and shared those temptations with other men. This was a tremendous help to both of us.
As time passed, and we were three months, four, six months out, each day got easier. I learned to trust again because my spouse became trustworthy.
Many of the women who've emailed/left comments are struggling with men who are not trustworthy. Their hearts have been damaged over and over because their mates have failed over and over. You cannot be expected to trust someone who isn't worthy of it. Put your trust in God, ask your spouse to clean up their act, get counseling or schedule an intervention with family, friends.
Rebuilding trust isn't easy or done quickly, but it is possible.
(We apologize for the quality of this video--serious technical difficulties this week! Turn down your volume)
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