Friday

Embracing the Strong-Will of My Child

She is the loud one at the table. Easy to find. Her face is smudged with chocolate because she snuck a cookie before lunch was eaten. Her hair is wild, matching bow long gone. Her feet are bare, socks under the table, feet tucked beneath. She screams, "Noooo!" in a naughty voice.

Eyes stare and heads turn to look at the noisy, unruly toddler. Her mother hushes and wipes, bends to pick up a stray sock, for the third time. She forces a smile. On the outside.

On the inside she struggles with wanting her child to conform. To sit nicely, behave well, eat sandwich before cookie. To be like the other quiet children in the restaurant.

She is me:  Embarrassed by my child; Ashamed that I am embarrassed.

Why do I want my child to be like everyone else? Why am I so uncomfortable with imperfection? And comfortable with conformity?

At the same time, I want her to be herself. As she grows, to stand firm in truth, to withstand the strong current of worldliness that will fight to whisk her away.

One day, I will marvel at her strength and will when she makes a good decision and leads rather than follows.

How can I want both?

God, forgive me for wanting to squeeze her into a box. She doesn't fit.  Help me to embrace her strong will as a strength, not a weakness.

You created her in your image.

And she is mine.


Are you blessed with a strong-willed child(ren) too? Tell me what you love about them...




Want to know what I've learned about raising strong-willed children courtesy of some great resouces? Make sure you check out my January 1st newsletter.


71 comments:

aMichiganMom said...

My daughter is two, and you described it perfectly. But I feel blessed to have a girl with such a strong spirit and pray she will grow up to be a strong leader!

mommieof4munchkins said...

My 3rd child who I call Lippy Lou is VERY strong willed, I think it is a 3rd child thing. I pray that her and I both make it to her 18th birthday ;)

Amy said...

My son Henry beats his drum to his own tune or however you put it... he can dig in his heels like no other. There are days where I have no idea why he has to hold his ground over such seemingly silly issues like putting on his shoes.

I just have to hope and pray that this means he'll have confidence and spunk as he grows. I totally feel you on feeling torn between wanting your kid to be her own person and feeling embarrassed. But I think you're on the money with your thoughts. :) Thanks for the post.

Nicole @Team Pipkin said...

yes, i am blessed with a strong willed 4yo daughter. she is totally different from her older brothers who are 17 & 15. she knows this which is why she plays to them a lot, they give into her.

Mommie Daze said...

Oh, wow! That's totally my son, and that's totally me. Find myself wishing all the time he'd act like other kids, and on pins and needles in social situations hoping he does. And I'm shy and quiet, so it's even more painful when he draws attention to us. But I know his strong-will makes him unique, and if I can just help to him to focus all that energy on the right things, it will serve him well as an adult.

Musings of a Housewife said...

Oh my 4-year-old is about to put me in an early grave. We call her Jekyll and Hyde. Her strong will is a blessing if I can tame it. @@

Casey said...

I have two strong willed boys. I love that at 2 and 4 they are independent and fearless. Yet I find myself struggling and frustrated that their strong wills lead bad behaviors and disrespect. I don't want to break them but I want to train them up in the ways of the Lord. I fear I won't be able to teach them how to use their strong wills to glorify God rather than "get their ways."

Vanessa Washburn said...

great post. My little one is only 3 months, but I hope I remember this in 3 years when she inherits her mothers and father's stubbornness.

Jeanne said...

My beautiful 7 yo daughter can do anything she sets her mind to. Anything. If she wants to.

Provided you offer these kids the right incentive, they will do anything you want them to do as well. You just have to package it in the right way for them. I'm still learning just what that looks like, but life is so much easier now that I know that that is what I have to do!!

If only I knew how to package copywork I would be a happy mummy!!

Anonymous said...

Glad to know I am not alone! My child is sooo ornery sometimes, ugh! Only half the time I don't smile. I do this awful bite down thing to my teeth, and then I get so mad at myself for doing it. Half the time my son has no idea what is going on! He tries and I try and every night I pray he won't freak out in the grocery store, etc! I assume it gets better and I love our good moments! I thrive off the hugs and kisses and luv yous! I beam when he says thank you and kisses the dog goodnight EVERYNIGHT! We've done well...mostly =)

Unknown said...

Thank you for this post! I soooo needed this right now. I was just struggling with thoughts of why can't she just act like everyone else and just behave!! Thank you for your encouraging words! Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

My middle child is intense...his reactions to everything, happy or sad, are intense.

And from ages 2-4, it was rough, let me tell you. He refused to nap from the week his baby brother came home from the hospital on. He was stubborn and much of the time hard to deal with.

He's only 4 1/2 now, but the last several months have been so much better. He's learning to control his reactions to things a little better, and it's making life a lot easier. He's still really intense, but now we're seeing more of the "good" intense than the bad.

For a long, long time there was no light at the end of the tunnel in parenting him; I thought I would lose my mind. But I'm seeing a little glimmer that's giving me hope that we'll all make it through relatively unscathed...

Good luck!

Anita (Living, Loving and Learning) said...

My strong willed child is now 16 and she is still very strong willed. I love that she doesn't conform to the normal teenage girl drama. She's not miss I have to be fashionable, nor does she like to wear make-up. She's pretty tough when it comes to standing up for what's right and she could care less what people think of her. Not to mention that she is very talented and creative in the area of art. So there is hope for those little strong willed boys and girls. :)

Mrs Catch said...

I have strong-willed 4 year-old twins. I try to say "Twice as nice" (i.e a Blessing) instead of "Double Trouble". They are stubborn with each other too. I think this is helping them to mellow a little, because they're having to see things from the other's side. It's gonna be a long 18 years!

Thanks for a lovely post. It helps us all to know we're not alone.

Muthering Heights said...

My younger daughter is CRAY-ZAY!! There is no corralling that one...but I love that her personality is just as strong as her will!

Jenna said...

I was the strong willed child in my family. My Mom said the book was written about me- she was so confused how Dr. Dobson saw my every move. As long as you can embrace the moments she chooses to show that side of her personality and encourage her independence in small ways you'll be just fine!

My Mom would let me choose between 2 dresses, or 2 dinner options giving me the ILLUSION that I had control. She still does it sometimes and I'm 27!

sclangs said...

It is nice to know that I am not alone!

My 7 yr old is a handfull. She is the middle child who was a middle child before I was even pregnant with her younger brother! And her younger brother is following in her footsteps by stomping so hard in them, they are obliterated.

I cringe everytime my 2 are out in public, because I feel like the only mom out there fussing at my kids to stop what they are doing. From climbing into the shelves at every store we take them into and not conforming to my ideals when we are out at dinner when they are just being kids. If my kids make it to parenthood themselves, it will be a complete miracle!!

Gotta love them though. As people who enjoy looking at the party going on around them and not being the life of the party, my husband and I sure got 2 kids that are the complete opposite!

But we love them so much for their outgoingness and individuality! Thank you God for giving us 3 wonderful chilren that challenge us and Love us unconditionally.

pcb said...

Another perspective...my daughter was strong-willed from the moment she was born...now in her twenties and that trait has served her so well. She never bowed to peer pressure and has always known who she is...

se7en said...

I have to say it is tough day to day when they are small... but it is lovely when they are older and don't crumble to the crowd... Not to mention my most spirited one has the energy to still bounce through bedtime stories for his little siblings long after my get up and go has got up and gone.

Missy | Literal Mom said...

I definitely felt the way you describe with my 7 year old. I went through the years of 3 to 5 embarassed a lot.

I'm much better about it with my 2 year old. She's not as intense, one, but two, it's who they are. I enforce the boundaries they need and let them be who they are otherwise. We're all much happier people that way.

Most days. :)

hawkeyejlp said...

Oh yes, I have one of those and she is four. I try to remind myself daily that her strong will can be a wonderful blessing, but it's hard when you're trying to get her out of the house in the morning. Thank you for this post and the other comments...I need the encouragement.

Racheal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie Bagamary said...

My 2 strong willed children have grown up to serve God in strong ways....His design all along.

Racheal said...

I have a strong willed 3 yo boy. He is a pure blessing, but there are days I feel like pulling my hair out. I'll be waiting anxiously for your newsletter, lol. Some days I just don't know what to do with him. He is an amazing little man full of so much energy and so love by me and my husband. It is just hard sometimes when it seems no form of discipline works. I'm sure as he gets older it will get easier, or at least I am hoping.

Beth said...

My DD is 13 and has been strong willed since the moment she was born. We battle every day. I don't worry about her making serious wrong choices - the stuff that can alter her course, because she is so strong willed. These are the kids that, as adults, get things done.
Very well said. I don't want to fit mine in a box either. Besides, there ain't no box big enough for that personailty!

Beth

Sue Heimer said...

Totally relate. I have 4 sons..now ages 24,21,20 and 15. Our second born is very strong willed. He will be 22 in Feb. The journey with him through the years have been a blessing and often frustrating. We found early on, to survive the years before us, and keep our sanity, we had to find balance. He does very well when there is CLEARLY defined bounderaries in his world. And yes, he often stuck his big toe over the "line in the sand". However, he seemed conforted and safe when we would redefine the line and hold him accountable. That being said, we also encouraged him to pursue his interests as a outlet for his strong-willed nature. Easy? No. I have a "talk" I give at women's conferences/retreats called. "When your teenager rebels"...Raising strong willed children takes tremendous patience and endurance...but YOU were given this child to raise and GOD will equip you with everything (all the wisdom and discernment)you need to guide him along the way. "Loving Levi" has not always been easy....But so WORTH it...hang in there....the best is yet to come!
www.sueheimer.com

Alison said...

wow, this post hit home! my second son is my strong-willed one. it is a constant struggle not to compare him with his more mild-mannered brother and sister. i can't tell you the number of times i have slunk out of chick-fil-a with him making a horrendous scene, clutching my sweet tea and what's left of my dignity with burning cheeks! however, i love that my headstrong little guy is not a quitter. persistence is his name, and it will do him well in the future if it's harnessed right. oh, yeah, and his adorable squeaky little voice...God was gracious to give him that because it has saved his bacon a few times!

CourtneyKeb said...

My 9 month old daughter (yes only 9 months) is going to give me a run for my money.

I'm telling you since the day she was born I knew she was a fire cracker--and she IS.

She will not sit still, not even for a second. She has to go and do and see and explore every moment of every day.
The child doesn't even sit still in her sleep.

I'm often jealous of other mom's baby's behavior in our mom and tot group or at church. Other babies her age sit so quietly and are so content with being still and silent most times.

Not mine. I'm not mom other women look at and probably think "Oh she has her hands full." and then kiss their calm, sweet baby on the head.

I wouldn't trade her for a second though. This wild little girl has got more in for me than I know, and although I too become quite embarrassed at her behavior sometimes, I know that she is special and unique, and the biggest blessing I've ever been given. I thank God for her just the way she is every day.

I feel like this post was for me! Thanks.

Beth said...

Oh, the strong willed child...I have two! One of my daughters (now 10 yrs. old) made me crazy from 1 yr. to 3 1/2...she was so stubborn and whiney, especially when getting dressed. She was very picky and just threw fits! However, it lead her to be independant in choosing her own clothes and learning how to match! My older daughter never cared and always let me pick out her clothes and it took her until she was 11 to start doing it herself! So, there ARE positives that came out of her pickiness. Also, she stopped letting me do anything with her hair at a very young age. She's learned to do a great job on it by herself and I rarely have to help her (very hard for a liscenced cosmetologist to let go of that control, let me tell you)! I'm happy to say that she's now a very easy kid and a joy (most days) to be around. Hang in there...I never would have believed that there would be light at the end of that tunnel, but there was.

And I try to remember that when my 3yr. old daughter is showing her INDEPENDANCE! Strong-willed is an understatement with my girl! She wants to wear her pajamas everywhere we go, refuses to wear socks or shoes and throws a fit whenever she sees me coming with a hairbrush. Heaven forbid that I could put a ponytail or barrette in her hair...I'm lucky to hold her down long enough to run a comb through it! This is the same girl, just 6 months ago, that insisted in wearing her shoes from morning to night, changed her clothes 10 times a day and allowed me to do all kinds of cute things with her hair. LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! Maybe if I keep saying it, it'll be here sooner than later! And, I'd rather they drive me crazy when they're little than drive me crazy when they're teenagers! ;)

Sarah said...

I attempt to harness her strong will for good and not evil. And I think if we can do that, when she is a teenager she will not easily cave to peer pressure. She will be passionate. She will be motivated to do what she thinks is right, and will not be swayed. Or at least, this is my prayer.

And then she will become a brilliant attorney and support me in the lifestyle to which I wish to become accustomed.

Anonymous said...

Someone once told me, "The wildest colts make the best horses." I am going to have one dandy of a horse.

Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has been a very helpful book for our family.

Kelly @ Wisdom Begun said...

I have some strong willed children, two especially so. I am very, very glad for their uniqueness and I see a natural leader when they grow up.

The problem comes because inevitably a strong-willed child wants things his/her way. I struggle with teaching them how to put others ahead of themselves.

Sigh. It is hard to do.

TaDa! Creations said...

I have 4 year old twin girls. My Allison is extremely strong-willed (here sister is very much a leader but still very compliant, an unusual combination I think).

What I love the most about Allison is that she feels things so deeply. So when she is happy, her joy is just beaming from her. She is also very perceptive and compassionate and . But cross her will and watch out, she really explodes. Those are the moments I choose to remember the giant hugs she gives me saying "you are my BEST Mommy" while hugging me fiercely.

But being twins they are very much partners in crime and both give me a run for my money when out in public. I feel like my life is a 3-ring circus when trying to get through the grocery store or Target.

Lord help me if my 1 year old son ends up being strong-willed too. It's looking like he might me.

Reading all of these comments have been very encouraging. Thank you for a wonderful post and very timely for me.

Stacey said...

That made me cry a little. It's hard not to want conformity. But it's great wisdom to see that the strength will serve them well as they grow. My 8 year old was just like that, and my current 2 year old is the same. Strong-willed and stubborn. It has served my 8 year old well, though it does make for some difficulty between us. But I've learned that it's ok when she insists on doing her math problems while standing on her head. God bless the stubborn ones!

Melanie said...

My 9-year-old daughter is my strong-willed one. From 2-4, she was really, ummm, challenging to parent. But she is such a joy! So sweet and respectful. I never thought I would use those words to describe her.

Precision Quality Laser said...

How about being blessed with two strong-willed children...son (5) and daughter (2)! We have three kiddos total but our firstborn is soooo different from his siblings...LOL.

I see my son and daughter's stubbornness as a blessing because they know what they want and what they don't want. If my husband and I can just channel those tenacious powers for good rather than evil, their strong wills will be a blessing rather than a cursing :)

What I love about my daughter Miss Precious....her persistence. She will keep trying until she gets it. And as for my son, Mr. Independent, well his pseudonym gives it away...his independence. He is a leader and not a follower.
And as for my non-strong-willed 7 year old, Mr. Dramatic, I love his creativity and exuberance.

Thanks for reminding us moms of strong willed children of the good side of a challenging thing!

Blessings!

The Mom said...

Pray now and pray hard for the teenage years! My strong willed child is now 14. She is such a blessing, but shd difinitely has an opinion. While we don't want to stifle her, we do know she will not always be able to have her way in life. It is a daily struggle to find a balance. She has a great heart and is a good kid. Good luck with yours.

Kelli said...

What a beautiful way to put it! Something I need to remember with my THREE strong willed children. :)

Anonymous said...

I have a found a blessing in that my strong-willed 2.5 yr old that so boldly expresses her frustration and anger and wants, also boldly expresses her joy and delight! My spirit just soars when I see her extraordinary ability to express love and enjoy life to its fullest:) I have found that "mild mannered" can mean "mildly expressive" and there are two sides to that coin, too.

Natalie Stewart Graham

Tiffany said...

You had to have been in my house last night because my beautiful strong willed daughter was in FULL FORCE last night. Oy!

My daughter is 3. She reminds me much of me. Independent, strong willed, not willing to take no for an answer. I love that she wears her heart on her sleeve. That she loves intensely and feels everything. I love that she is just who she is....even on those days when she becomes like a hurricane running rapid through our home.

Desiree said...

Both of my children (ages 8 and 6) are strong-willed. They know how to make me really upset... but there are times that they are so loving and helpful and that reminds me that I'm doing just fine as a mom. :)

nicole said...

You just wrote about us! Our toddler (20 months) is very challenging. Like you, I tell myself that her strong personality will serve her as she grows. She will be a leader, not a follower. In the meantime, I love how definitive she is when she wants something and how clearly and happily she says thank you when she gets it. :)

LifeAtTheCircus.com said...

Ah yes, both of my daughters have strong willed personalities... they totally took me by surprise as I was a conforming, cautious, by the book first born. My prayer for them since discovering this will is that God would help me not to break that will but to shape it into His. Seriously, how awesome will that, "could care less what everyone thinks, I'll wear my halloween candy corn pants in Feb with my purple hoodied shirt with my pink crocks b/c that's what I like" attitude be if given some direction and then used to stand boldly and proudly in the world as a light for Christ? How I long for my girls to be bright beacons in this dark world, willing to go against the flow, willing to stand up for what they believe in, willing to stand alone...and yet I must mold them.. to teach them respect for authority, kindness to others... I have found since my older daughter turned 3.5, I've seen a softening of her heart. I keep praying.

And I let a lot go and choose my battles. What they wear on the outside matters much less to me than what they wear on their heart. So today she is wearing her red hooded sweater with her fuzzy black and turquoise leggings and her brown boots.

Val, Brax and Harper said...

i think the hardest part of having a strong willed child is being a strong willed parent! the combination of the two REALLY creates a challenge! i admit that he gets it from me...

gillian said...

oh my good gracious do I have a strong~willed son...who I, too, try and squeeze him into a box! what I love about him is his geniune heart, he's an open book...

Hannah said...

You know, I can definitely relate to this...my first child is so determined, and has such strong ideas. She is the exact opposite of me, and I do feel guilty that at times I wish she were just quiet and calm like others.
But you know what? She makes friends in an instant, and is so capable at reaching out to others and making others feel included. We joke that with her personality, she is going to change the world. Because with all that determination, she also has a big heart, and that will take her far.

Anonymous said...

Considering I spent 10 minutes crying in the car after I dropped my 4 year old daughter off at preschool today...I sooooo needed this post.

For all of her stubbornness and outright refusal to do the simplest things, Emma FEELS so strongly. Happy or sad, there is never any doubt what she's experiencing. And everything is an experience.

I have yet to find her currency, that one thing that will motivate her to stop being so defiant.

But let me tell ya, NOONE is ever going to make my girl do anything she doesn't want to.

Eden said...

You described Princess2! What I especially enjoy is her willingness to do new things without clinging. She has self confidence and trusts that I'll always be there for her so she's safe to go adventure.

Bloggin' Mama said...

My 3y/o son...he's one of a kind, that's for sure! He's also our middle child and does not fit into any mold that has ever been made.

However, on the rare occasion we are able to get through that rough, strong and determined exterior, we find that he has the most gentle heart. He's so sweet and loving and truly wonderful! It's glimpses like those that help us keep plugging away at taming the exterior a bit and finding ways for him to have the opportunity to express his heart.

I'm sure there are lessons in this for me as well and I hope to be able to look back at these very tough times and see where God has held us and led us even when at the time it seemed as though we'd never get through to him.

Audrey said...

Thank you for this. You brought tears to my eyes. I've been struggling lately with a strong willed child, and trying to find the patience I seemed to have in abundance when my older, quieter child was his age. I love that my son is the most loving little boy. He loves to hug and kiss his family, and is friendly to every child he meets. I just remind myself that as he gets older and life gets harder for him, he knows who he is and will stand his ground. I am raising two wonderful boys who I have no doubt will grow up to be wonderful husbands and fathers, no matter what they were like at 4.

Aiming4Simple said...

Our middle child is rather strong-willed. My husband is better at guiding her than I am. Firm, patient discipline is more fruitful than what I often try. It is so easy to get frustrated since she is not a people pleaser like me and my other daughter are.

mcmcolospgs said...

Ah, yes. This is my 3 yr old, Emily. Emily has sensory problems, which makes your average task completely earth-shattering to her many times. She feels everything to the extreme - love, anger, frustration, happiness. As another mom said, at least you always know where she stands and how she feels. She is very trusting that I will always return when I have left her someplace (church, preschool, etc) and it is comforting to me as a mom to be able to do this and not have the added guilt of a crying, hysterical toddler at my feet while doing so.

Sarah said...

My friend wrote a post that is my favorite thing ever about strong-willed children. Read it here. You probably already have tons of great insights for your newsletter, but I just had to share it in case it inspires you or anyone else.

bevy said...

Bless you all! I feel so much better. My youngest son (I have two boys) is the one that makes me want to pull my hair out. Thank God for the GRACE He gives me daily!

Brandi said...

For me it's my middle child who has the strongest will of the bunch, well, besides me. :)

He was 2 and saying he hated God and had anger in his heart. There was a time when I couldn't take him shopping anymore b/c he knew he could scream and get away with it, at least until we got home.

He's still the one with a million questions, but through much patience and discipline, he is becoming such a fine young almost 8 yr. old. I love that child with all my heart!!

I do understand the struggle between wanting to break their will but not their spirit. Such a fine line and I know I made mistakes along the way. But... truly patience and consistent discipline have so paid off!!!!!

Glad I am not alone in the strong-willed battle. :)

Thanks for sharing and being so transparent.

Anonymous said...

My son is 14 and was strong willed in the womb. He has taught me that the world won't end if he doesn't fit into the form the world deems acceptable. He is God's magnificent creation, perfectly formed to be who His Creator wants him to be.

Although the time he wanted to wear a t-shirt with a giant baseball on it for Easter was almost the straw that broke the camel's back.

Tonya said...

Every time you write about your youngest, I think of my daughter. She is 5, incredibly strongwilled, very smart, and very much her own person. I love her self confidence, her ability to make friends with almost anyone and her boundless energy.

But, like you, I sometimes find it hard to embrace all of her spirited personality. I am sometimes embarrassed, and I swear that no matter where we go, everyone ends up knowing her name because I have to use it so often.

In case you haven't found it yet, you might want to check out Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka -- it's helped save my sanity!!

Julie Stiles Mills said...

Today is my daughter's birthday and I re-posted something I wrote about her free spirited approach to life.

I'm sure other parents sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) think I should reel her in and shush her, but I have to follow my instincts - which I discovered were right in line with the concepts in the book Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel.

Debbie S. said...

Our youngest child, and only girl, is completely out of control. Her three big brothers have spoiled her rotten and we're all paying for it. My husband often comments that he will raise the boys and I can be in charge of Cate :) She doesn't hit her "terrible twos" for another three months, so I'm sure the best is yet to come.

Gina said...

You said is so perfectly, I need to remember that my four year old won't fit into a box-there just isn't a mold for her because she breaks them all. But I know she is strong for a reason-I pray often about it and her and my attitude. Thanks for the reminder that I'm not the only mom in this boat.

Unknown said...

I'm blessed with a couple strong willed ones. I learned when my daughter was quite small(she is now13) that I was trying to make her be what I wanted. God gently showed me He had big plans for her and He could handle it. I let go and let her grow into a beautiful (almost) woman of God. We don't know the future. God does. Her strong will has protected her from "strong" friends and to hold her ground on her beliefs! I'm sure glad God knows best, and that I got out of the way! Good job, and keep up the good work.
tia

Molly said...

I love this post! I find myself at times trying to make Mac fit into the box you describe. I need to be better about letting his spirit just be!!!

Lana said...

THEY ARE going to be WORLD CHANGERS!!! YEP, WORLD CHANGERS!!!

WORLD CHANGERS!!!

That is my prayer...I have 5 of those babies, luckily they don't all have the same days that they try to STRUT their stuff.

My prayer is that they will be WORLD CHANGERS! ;)

Blessings to you,
lana @ ilovemy5kids

Wendy N said...

What a great post. My 5 year old sweet girl is ready to take on the world! She has a strong will and personality that jsut flat wear me out! BUT, I know she will need that strength God gave her to live with the diabetes that she also has.
Signed up today and eagerly awaiting that newsletter!

Michelle said...

My strong willed child is just like me and 9 years old now. He had early terrible twos, from 1 1/2- 2 1/2 and has calmed every year since. I don't want to squash his personality but to be successful in life children do have to learn to behave and be polite.

The Source said...

My daughter was the strong-willed toddler, too. Now she's a wonderfully self-reliant 16 yr old. She works hard to accomplish whatever she sets her mind to. All you have to do is teach your daughter to use that strong will God gave her to do what HE wants her to do. (Sounds so simple, right?? LOL)

We recently dropped off our girl for a college preview weekend where she knew exactly one person...and she had a BLAST! Met all kinds of people and participated in everything. Even became the leader of the group of kids attending the weekend thing...and she was the only 11th grader there...the rest were seniors.

It'll take time, patience and prayer, but your child has that will because God wanted her to have it. Make it work for His glory! You'll be amazed at where it takes her.

Heather said...

Amen, amen. As a teacher, the thing I seem to struggle most with is wanting my children to behave....to not be "THAT child". My oldest is a typical pleaser, my middle one has special needs and always marched to the beat of his own drum for other reasons. We adopted my third, and I say always that she's the one that can make me laugh the quickest but also make me just as angry just as quickly. She is soooo stubborn and strong willed. She is THAT child in Target, at lunch, and so many other places.

Thanks for the post. I try to remember with my youngest, that her spirit is what helped her survive in an orphanage. Survive she did. She is now blooming.

KK said...

My brother was that strong willed child and now he is an incredible children's pastor. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Yes, that is my daughter.
I love her smile, her bubbly friendly personality, her kindness and most of all her imagination.

Cathy said...

My 6 yr old is very strong willed but also very independent. She learned to dress herself, feed herself, read, etc at a young age and it's great letting her get ready for school all by herself. So her clothes don't always match and she REFUSES to change them for me. At least she did it herself.

*~*~* Tracy said...

Shane the Freight Train is 3.5 and man oh man is he a pistol. The pendulum swings widely in both directions and he never seems to rest quietly in the middle.

He is a passionate pursuer of justice though and is very protective of his siblings.

We think he'll grow up to rule a small country, be a pastor or wind up in prison (joking!). He has too much exuberance and zeal to have a 'regular' job. :)