I've Never Been More Determined Not to Bleed

My kids love animals. 

No, I don't think you understand.

They love animals more than your kids do. I'm not just talking about cute baby animals. Or cats and dogs. They have an obsession with half-dead lizzards and rabid raccoons. 

They aren't a respecter of animal life form. 

Every time I turn around, they are asking for a new pet. I'm a sensitive Mom, "Go play with your cats. You have a rabbit. Fine, draw a picture of an animal or take this piece of thread for a walk. I am not buying another pet." 

You may recall, we aren't the best pet owners. So, I have to draw the line.

That's when they told me they were saving their money to buy their own pet. 

And that's when I patronizingly patted them on the arm and said, "If you save enough money, we'll see."

I'm the tooth fairy in this house. And it looks like she's in a recession. Heh.

Well. It turned out that the little darlings were serious. 

Because they pooled their money together (all $8.43 of it) and bought this the last time we were at Lowe's:

A Venus FlyTrap.

Oh, you haven't heard the best part! 

According to my kids, there are five traps on this one plant. Let me introduce you to JoJo, Lilly, Scooter, Sonja and Rose.

My kids keep referring to themselves as their parents.

And to me as Grandma.

I'm so proud.

They rush in from school and check to see who's mouth is open. Then they go on a hunt. 

"Don't you want to go outside and catch a bug?" I suggested, not daring to turn my back on Venus and all the little von traps.

"Nope," my son said with confidence. He walked over to the dining room window and said, "I can find all the bugs I need right here."

And that's when I remembered feeling like this.

"Honey, would you please feed JoJo? She's getting fussy," my daughter asked her husband. I mean, my grandson. No, I mean, her brother. 

"It's hard work being an adult," he said.

You have know idea, I thought eyeing my bug-filled window sills. 

And it turns out that I'm expected to give a full report to the parents when they get home from school. 

I don't trust the thing. It's as simple as that.

It keeps giving me the Evil Eye. I'm just waiting for Scooter to say, "feed me."

That's when we'll go back to drawing our pets on paper.

*Update* I'm sad to report that Rose got the 'black spot disease' and died a painful death (which is my kid's way of saying it withered). We said some nice words over her. But in happy news, Tulip is expecting (which is my kid's way of saying there are two new sprouts).