Monday

Just Send Me Your Therapy Bills

I think I've failed my children. {Not Me!}

You be the judge:

At breakfast this past weekend, something had obviously been bothering my son because in-between bites of scrambled eggs he said, "Mom, why didn't you tell me I was a mammal? I didn't find out until I was in Kindergarten."

And considering he is now halfway through the first grade, I'd say he's been holding this in.

For awhile.

If you were on Twitter, you probably followed this conversation. But I failed to mention my third grade daughter's mammal input. She's an expert.

"Well. It doesn't even matter because You are not a mammal. You don't feed your young milk from your body, do you?" she asked. "Plus, the dolphin is the smartest mammal."

Well.

Strangely, that got me off the hook. 

And no, I didn't even correct her. 

And it's certainly NOT because I don't know my mammal facts. 

I do. Really. I think.
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The night before, my kids were playing with action figures and I heard some smashing and crashing.

And then I heard this: "Oh, no, he fell. He is really hurt. He is really suffering!"

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"Yeah, we'll have to put the guy out of his misery since he's hurt so bad."

And then I heard all sorts of frightening sounds.

Um. No, my kids did not just euthanize a parachuting action figure.

I'll just add that talk to my to do list.

But just in case there are permanent effects to this recent behavior, I'll have them send their therapy bills to me.

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And if all that isn't enough:

The hubby and I took the kids to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop at the theatre. It was funny and fairly family-friendly. Well, as much as gun-toting mall thugs can be. 

The highlight? My son proclaiming it "THE BEST MOVE EVER" and deciding to pursue mall-copping in college.

Pride. It's all I feel, people.

47 comments:

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

LOL - So glad you share all this with us. Now we know just how to handle things at home.

Hmmm...are mall cops mammals?

Robin said...

Ok the first comment made me laugh as much as your post.

Amber said...

Oh my gosh, that mall cop one really got me, lol!

Amber @ ClassicHousewife said...

LOL! Love your daughter's response. :P 3rd graders just know EVERYTHING their first grade siblings need to know- don't they? ;)

Catherine said...

Too funny!! And you're not alone. A couple of years ago, my kids made a Lego movie and decapitated the bad guys at the end. At least, it was the bad guys!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Just make sure they don't try to euthanize a mall cop. Because that would be bad.

Jessica said...

Oh how I love the comic relief that you and your family provide. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one out there!

JEWEL said...

So funny!

Meme said...

Feeling completely normal now, thank you very much!

Monica said...

Too funny!!!!

Amanda said...

too funny! You are going to have to compile a book of sayings of all that your kids have said and done- I would buy it for sure!

AnneYarbs79 said...

They are hilarious!

Now, how do you get them to even play together is my question....????

Calling my insurance company now to make sure we have "behavioral health" coverage... Lord, knows we might all need it by the time they leave the house!

everyday mom said...

I can't stop laughing, I can't wait till Jack grows up and starts having these wonderful kinds of conversations.

I love it. This may have to go on my posts for the week this coming Sunday.

Thanks for giving me a good laugh first thing in the morning.

Stacy said...

Funniest. Post. Ever.

~Stacy

mayangelstar.com said...

Sounds like conversations we have at our house. My kids were playing with legos the other day and came in with a lego guy standing on 2 wheels. Brianna exclaimed, look Mom, it's like the mall cop. She hasn't even seen the movie, only the preview of it from Marley and Me.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the giggles, as always.

Luke said...

Seriously. Kids need to know their mammal status by, at latest, age three. I mean, can you imagine what kinds of things might happen if they weren't clued into their particular classification!?

Hilarious [laughing].

~Luke

Valarie Lea said...

Hahahaha this was funny!

L.L. wants to go see that mall cop movie. Haven't decided if we are going to yet or not.

Natalie said...

my 13 year old mentioned being a mall cop after seeing that movie. he was kidding. i think. i'm pretty sure he was just interested in riding a segway. i hope.

Threeundertwo said...

I think they're ok as long as they didn't donate parachute guys body to science or anything.

Sandy Toes said...

LOL..how funny!!! We have had moments like that here!!!
-sandy toe

The Other K Wick said...

My condolences to the parachute action figure and I will being keeping him and his family in my prayers. (I fell on the floor laughing.) And congrats on your son knowing what he would like to be when he grows up. I LOVE it!

Shanna said...

Too funny!

Following Him said...

Love your NMM post! I am in stiches
~Elyse~

Muthering Heights said...

I swear, you have the funniest kids!!!

Laurel MacD said...

Ha Ha - I don't even want to think about all the issues my kids are going to have!

MommyAmy said...

LOL, that's awesome! I love the first comment on this thread, too funny!

Kaleena said...

That's the funniest thing I've read all day!!! Thanks for making me laugh!

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Pride. It's all I feel, people. T

That cracked me up! Glad to hear the movie was good...I SO want it to be!

Kasey Hunt said...

Maybe you can convince your son to be a Mall Cop for Halloween and look for something else as a day job!! Too funny.

E said...

Ha ha ha, we wanna go see that movie, too! I'm sooo looking forward to it. Glad to hear I can take my kiddos. =0)

Great blog! I was laughing over here...

Michelle said...

LOL!

Lynnette said...

First time to your blog (I think), and I wanted to let you know I laughed hysterically about the euthanization of the parachuting figure. Thanks for sharing all the things that didn't happen at your house this week!

tidymom said...

Funny post! LOL......we saw that movie Saturday night......that night I got the stomach flu!!! don't think I'll see THAT one again! LOL

~Tidymom

Mandy and Jack said...

How dare you not share with your daughter that she's a mammal!! I can't believe she had to find out that way!! ;-) Too funny!!

blueviolet said...

I just heard that movie is hilarious! I must see it!

Kameron said...

I don't think I would have corrected her either. :o) I love your header!! Have a great week.

Teachable Hearts at Home said...

Your stories made me smile.

Hi! It's me, Jen. said...

You are so stinkin' funny. I think our kids would really get along, can we come over?

D... said...

Pie. It fills the cracks of the heart. Hee! I sorta want to see the Paul Blart movie.

Glad your daughter got you off the hook! Cute stories. :)

Hey Mama where's my... said...

Oh gosh I so really laughed out loud at this one!! I need to make a talk to-do list too! Great NMM's~

Dee said...

k- I like your new look.

Cheri-Beri said...

My husband is a real cop. When our darling daughter was 3 she told her daddy she wanted to be a cop when she grew up. You should have seen the look on his face. It wasn't pride or shame, it was pure terror. He said, "My daughter is NOT going to be a police officer." Lucky for him, she's 11 and wants to be a fashion designer. Or lawyer. Or veterinarian.

Patois said...

Cracks me up, particularly the first anecdote. My kids all fought tooth and nail when I continually told them they were, in fact, animals. It wasn't until they were at least 6 that they'd start buying it.

LifeAtTheCircus said...

Thanks for the mid afternoon grins and giggles. Your kids are adorable!!

Heather said...

Hilarious!! Mall copping in college?!?! That is priceless!

Kara said...

Thank you for the out-loud laughter! Your daughter reminds me of little me, with so much to educate my younger brother about...thankfully he still speaks to me as an adult. :)