Thursday

Encouraging Our Children to Face Fear {Giant Giveaway}

I'm not sure if it's genetic or some parental accident, but both my older kids (and I expect my preschooler to follow) have gone through separation anxiety.

And I'm not just talking about the kind that babies experience when Mommy tries to drop them off at the church nursery. Because there's that. But also a season of extreme fear-fear of being left (like while I'm at the mailbox in the front yard), being forgotten (accidentally leaving them somewhere), or just simply never coming back.

I like to think they just really like us.

But I know this fear is very real, nearly paralyzing. As a parent, I cannot imagine doing any of the above. I've assured, convinced, promised and reminded. For my oldest, this terrible time was healed with the exchange of special necklaces-two halves that equaled a whole. Whenever we were going to be apart, we would both wear them. My girl would touch her necklace and instantly be reminded that it was a promise. I would return.

Although my son is in the middle of this season, he is facing his fear head on. He knows with his head that we will be there and he's learning it with his heart. He is being very brave and even wants to go to summer church camp. He's tackling his fears.

I'm so proud of my children. They are learning to conquer their fears, one at a time.

This is one of life's difficult lessons. There are so many on the road to growing up. I'd like to introduce you to a new resource that is there to help during those bumpy times: Bedtime Theater.


Tell me something your kids (or you) are trying to overcome (or have) and you'll be entered to win this:

  • 2GB Silver iPod Shuffle
  • Logitech Speakers
  • $25 iTunes Gift Card
  • Brookstone Cuddle Blanket
  • Patagonia Bag
A prize package worth approximately $175

Click here to read more about Bedtime Theater Iggy's Next Adventure contest! Help write the next chapter in Iggy's great adventure and you could win a $2500 trip for your own family adventure!

Goodnights offers trusted resources including the NightLite Panel discussion boards and information.

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® Sleep Pants for the Bedtime Theater program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes developing the Iggy's Next Adventure story, sharing the program information with my readers, tweeting my blog entry and judging the Iggy's Next Adventure contest entries. However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive sentiments towards the GoodNites® products.

263 comments:

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Megan said...

I have a two year old who was deathly afraid of slides for about a year. He would have a tiny panic attack whenever he got close to one - now he slides down them head-first. He realized that with God, he can be brave!

Elizabeth said...

My daughter is afraid of new people...she clings to me really tight!! Right now I don't mind so much, but I am hoping it's just a stage she is going through!

Jessica said...

I have a five year old that is scared to give up her binkey! No matter what we have tried, it doesn't work - but since it is lent and she is learning that Jesus gave up his life for us, she is trying to give up her binkeys.

Tessa said...

My son is afraid of change. Any change. Look at it from the positive perspective, he is very happy where he is with what he has. A great and unusual quality in a 4yr old, but also very challenging if I want to get him to do ANYTHING different. Even wear a different shirt, or try a different flavor of bagel. Very basic things take A LOT of forethought and preparation on my part. I try to plan ahead as much as possible and appreciate every time he doesn't ask for new clothes or complain that he's bored where he is.

The Clines said...

My 4year old is working on saying goodbyes at school. M 10 year olds are working on being nicer to each other.

Shelli Bourque said...

My 10-year-old is afraid of the dark. She knows her fear is irrational - that nothing will hurt her - but there is just something very ominous about the dark. Just last week we found some practical things that are helping her.

HG said...

My daughter, who used to love our dog, now panics whenever he barks. We are teaching her that when he barks, that's just how he talks. She's getting better, and when the dog barks, she runs over and says, Did that scare you? and if you say no, she says me too. One step at a time!

Jamie said...

I really like your blog - too funny - I have often thought the same thing... we ARE THAT family... too funny!

Tales of Cheerios and Sleepless Nights said...

My daughter (19 months) is terribly afraid of bubbles in the bathtub. She asks for them constantly (and yells at us if we don't put them in), but then she cowers in the water, afraid to sit down. And Heaven help us if any bubbles get on her belly! She usually settles down as I play with the bubbles - put them on my nose, blow them onto the tub wall - but for now, I have to break that ice for her.

Sheila said...

My middle school daughter is trying to remember to turn her homework in. She does the work, but then somehow doesn't get it in. So frustrating! Especially since I do believe that she is trying hard.

Jen said...

Lots of our kids from age 1-5 or so are super scared of the water getting on their face when we rinse the shampoo out of their hair :-) We keep telling them it will be ok, and offer a towel right after... but still the screams continue. Also have a little bit of "scared of the dark" in a couple kids.

~Christina said...

My nine year old son is extremely afraid that someone will break into our house at night when we are sleeping. Any noise... rain, a car horn, etc. will keep him awake for hours certain that someone is trying to break in. He is just beginning to see the comfort that prayer can bring for our fears, yay!!

Buffie said...

My daughter is just starting with seperation anxiety. At this point it's a battle to even be able to go to the bathroom by myself. We're working with her and she has been showing some improvement.

Megan said...

My kids went through all the typical things such as separation anxiety, fear of clowns, fear of new things and we took each phase a day at a time. As parents we taught them that they can do anything they put their minds to and that God is always with them. They are now well adjusted teenagers and continue to struggle with normal fears...will I make new friends at my new school, will I succeed if I try a new sport of hobby? But I am sure that they will continue to grow and over come the challenges they face.
Thanks for your great blog, and the wonderful giveaway.

Lori said...

I'm helping my 5.5 year old daughter stop sucking her thumb - which is a big feat since she's done it since she was a newborn. It's scary for her to imagine life without her blankie and thumb, but she's doing it and inspiring me along the way! Thank you - fingers crossed!

shana said...

my just-about-9-year-old (our 2nd of 5 kiddos) is having huge sleep issues. she just can't fall asleep. we've tried lots of stuff, talked to other parents who've gone through similar things and are now considering seeing some sort of sleep specialist for her. she is not herself (duh, she doesn't sleep and is WAY over tired!) and seems anxious and sad quite often. the more she can't fall asleep the more nervous/anxious and worked up she gets about it and the less likely she is to fall asleep. it's a vicious cycle.
anyway, that's our current issue (there's always something around here!)
thanks for the giveaway!
shana

Tammy Griffin said...

My child's greatest fear overcomer is to conqueror his fear of the dark....walking alone in the dark hallway, sleeping alone, and clicking on a light in a dark room. We are traveling this road one night light at a time until we conqueror "the fear of dark."
Thanks for a great giveaway!

Lipe Family said...

I tried the, "Bye kids, I'm leaving..I'll see you later" trick when my kids couldn't peel themselves away from a display in the grocery store one time - it definitely backfired! My 3 year old, to this day, is scared that we will actually leave him somewhere.

Erin Ramsey said...

May sound silly, but my 5 1/2 year old and almost 4 year old are afraid to flush the toilet. I think the auto-flush toilets at the mall created this fear. Those suckers are LOUD (sometimes I get scared too).
Even at home, they're afraid to flush. ahhh.
Just last week, my 5 year old ran to tell me proudly that she flushed the toilet. We have our good and bad days.... but we'll get there eventually :)

kpmattingly said...

Our son is afraid of dark skinned women. I can't say that I blame him. The first African American woman he met was his nurse at 10 days old. He's had the same nurse since then (He's almost 4). Every time he sees her he knows that she is going to hurt him. He has to get blood drawn every time he goes to that doctor. Thankfully we now only go once every three months but in the beginning it was once a week then once every two weeks, etc. When he has met other dark skinned women outside of the doctor's office he will cling tightly to us. He is slowly beginning to realize that not every dark skinned women is going to put a needle in his arm for blood work but we still have a ways to go. I don't want my kids to be prejudice so we are working on it.

Emily said...

My son is only 15 months old so mostly he's afraid of those pesky molars that are coming through.

I'm still battling my own fear of sharks however. And since my daily life in Kansas brings me in close contact with them, it's a completely rational one, too. *grin*

Heather said...

My son went thru the normal separation anxiety, but my 2 year old daughter has had it on a totally different level. She and I are both trying to overcome this. Slowly it is getting better. Now when I come back from being some where she gets really excited and says "you came back!".

~~~Alana~~~ said...

I don't have kids, but I think change is honestly that is something I still deal with!

aggiemomof2 said...

My five year old is trying VERY hard to stop sucking his thumb. He doesn't want to get made fun of, he wants to be a "big kid."
sylviarj at yahoo dot com

Life With Jack said...

My son is 4 and has autism. He is currently going through some huge anxiety/attachment issues at night. He wakes up and just wants to know that we're there. We haven't slept in a very long time. :) We're working on conquering this!

Candy Graber said...

My 8 year old has a very hard time with any change in his routine. For the past year he will not go to Sunday school. He will only go to church with us.

Sandi said...

I honestly can't think of anything my kids are afraid of. I guess they're just brave!

abbi said...

My 3 year old is very afraid of water over his head. We are gentle during bath and he does love to swim...so long as he doesn't go under.

Sara W said...

We are battling the fear of nightmares at our house.

Let'sMakeADifference said...

My 2 youngest have several 'fears'. It really would be a lot easier to raise children if we had experience with them before having them! :)
Thanks for the chance to win!

Lisa Anne said...

So when I was six we went to pick up my brother from catacism class. I wondered off and was playing on the bike racks. When I walked back to the car I saw it leaving the parking lot without me in it. I was forgotten. I stood in the parking lot where a Nun found me and called my MOm. She had admitted forgetting me and I had to stay there with the NUn for over an hour while I waited for my Dad to get off work and pick me up. it was a horrible experience I still to this day don't think I've gotten over.

Sara said...

We just moved to a new state, into a new house. My oldest (5) is terrified of the house, unable to fall asleep on his own and wakes in the middle of the night needing my husband to comfort him. His personality has changed, too. We're going to counseling with him, but we have a long road ahead to help him learn to trust us, trust God and trust that he is safe.

Amanda said...

We were missionaries for the first 6 years of my 7-yr-old's life. We moved something like 18 times in those 6 years. Now we have changed jobs, purchased our first home, and been in one place for a whole year (wow!)but my daughter is filled with anxiety every time a change comes up -- even when I moved the furniture around the other day! I'm pretty much at a loss as to how to prove to her that she shouldn't be afraid of change.

Crista said...

We are currently dealing with the separation anxiety thing in our almost two year old. The other day, I was selecting frames for my new glasses and she was being a nuisance, so her daddy took her with him to look at toys.

Oh my. The minute they started to walk away, she started SCREAMING "Mama" at the top of her lungs and sobbing as if she would never see me again. I could hear her across the store screaming. Then I had to blink away tears to get finished.

I am hoping this is just a phase and she'll grow out of it, so I haven't taken any measures to try to help her with the behavior yet, other than reassure her when I leave that I'm coming back.

No one ever warns you how hard this is going to be when the plus sign comes up on the pregnancy test.

King of King's Princess said...

My 13 year old son is afraid to go to camp. He said it will be boring and he wouldnt like it. I keep telling him it will be a lot of fun. I think he is just afraid to leave his comnfort zone and enter a place that he isnt use to being. He doesnt try new things without a fight but always in the end likes them. I also have a 7 year old son that refuses to sleep without his blue geegee (blanket). He says it protects him from ghosts. There is nothing i seem to be able to tell him that makes him understand that there are no ghosts. We have a new fear in our house going from brussel sprouts to leaving the house for an extended amount of time.

King of King's Princess said...

My 13 year old son is afraid to go to camp. He said it will be boring and he wouldnt like it. I keep telling him it will be a lot of fun. I think he is just afraid to leave his comnfort zone and enter a place that he isnt use to being. He doesnt try new things without a fight but always in the end likes them. I also have a 7 year old son that refuses to sleep without his blue geegee (blanket). He says it protects him from ghosts. There is nothing i seem to be able to tell him that makes him understand that there are no ghosts. We have a new fear in our house going from brussel sprouts to leaving the house for an extended amount of time.

Vanessa Washburn said...

I am trying to let go and stop giving my husband a long list of instructions when he's home alone with our 6 month old.

em-jay said...

Our kiddo is afraid of costumes. I remember going through something similar, too. It's so sad! We love the theater.

Dawn said...

I have teens, so we've overcome the typical toddler, preschooler and elementary age fears. However, I'm learning teens have fears, too. My daughter is in the midst of dealing with the fear of acceptance and peer pressure and all that goes along with it including some "mean girl" issues. We've spent a lot of time lately discussing who she is in Christ (she is a believer!) and what Scripture says about that and lots of time praying. We've also had many conversations about the fact that she IS different because of her faith and that she may always be the odd girl because of it.

Blessings, Kristen!

Heather said...

My 18 month old daughter becomes deathly afraid of being put in her crib when she is wide awake. I believe this stems from a separation anxiety. She doesn't want to be left alone.

Stephanie said...

My 5 year old is just starting to do this. Crying when the sitter that he LOVES comes over...not wanting me to go anywhere...doesn't even want to go to the bathroom by himself. I didn't realize what it was until I read this post. Thank you. It was like a light bulb going on for me. But my other kids are afraid of moving to a new house. We are not even thinking about it, but for whatever reason they are afraid of it.

stacief said...

My 4 year old is afraid of going potty at preschool. He is potty trained everywhere else, but cant seem to use it at school. We are not sure how to get him over this fear.

LoveReignsHere said...

I am 35 and have just in the last 5 years gotten over been afraid while in MY house by myself! Nothing has ever happned, ie: robbery, but I just knew from the time I was about 3 till 30 that something was bgoing to "get me". My hubby has always had guns that he target shots with, in a safe since kids, but I knew how many steps it took to get to the gun, and where the extra bullets were. Lots of prayer and finaly realizing that God is ALWAYS with me. So during that time my hubby was traveling alot and I had plenty of time to practice. So every night I'd pray myself to sleep, and one night I realized that I was nolonger afraid. How great is our God?!?!? Anyway that's my story, it has helped my children as they went through bouts of darkness fears.

But it's little wonder our children have so much fear to deal with. Look at just the commercials that are on on a daily basis. Prayer and knowing our God, it's that simple! AMAZING!! He is soooooo good to us, His children.

Mandi said...

Well I've got a 6 year old afraid of everything (just like his mommy was, lol). But I'd say our biggest challenge right now is the fear of being alone. I mean, being alone on the first floor. Or being alone on the 2nd floor. Or being alone while hitting it to the bathroom. I am serious.

Courtney said...

my almost 3 yr old was very much afraid of going to the bathroom in the bathroom. one day we had her friends over and she saw all of them go and has been good to go since !

Katie said...

My 8-year -old daughter is struggling with being rude. She has always been a happy, polite child, so I figure this has to do with testing boundaries, and knowing what pushes Mom's buttons, because that sure does!

Anonymous said...

My 10 year old is doing an awesome job of not biting her nails anymore. It didn't matter what was tried, it had to come from her.

Kim said...

My 3 youngest are going through a different kind of separation anxiety right now. Their Dad just moved out of the house and I'm trying as best I can to help them process all of their emotions, but especially the fear that they won't have a Dad anymore. Trying to reassure them that Dad is still their Dad, but just doesn't live with us anymore is a challenge.

Tess said...

My little gal is struggling with goodbyes at preschool. I love what you do with your daughter (the necklaces). I'm going to try that with her!

AmyNaab said...

We are trying to over come the need to keep everything. My five your old cannot part with any little trinket.

Kelly said...

My daughter is convinced there are wolves in our house. Right now we're trying to help her understand that wolves don't live in houses, and that seems to be helping a little.

Carol said...

First I have to say what a great giveaway!
I have an 11yr old daughter that won't talk to people. Like when we go for fast food, she won't tell them her order. She won't ask a salesperson for help. We're working on it, because it is an art to talk to people you don't know, but you have to be able to talk to store helpeers.

The Activity Mom said...

We are dealing with my 3 year old son being afraid of going to sleep. He wakes up from bad dreams and talks about monsters in his room etc. It is hard as a parent to comfort them when their fear is real and you know that there aren't monsters etc.

Rachelle said...

Both of my boys have fear of being left behind. We just adopted them from China over the summer and it has been a HUGE thing for us to overcome and get past. Bedtime has been a difficult time as well... but is getting SO much better...

Amber, That's Me! said...

Our son (5) has always had issues with separation anxiety. He would cry when left at daycare as a baby and now still asks "are you going too" if we tell him somewhere we/ he is going.

He also has a huge fear of spiders. He loses it and screams and the tears start right away. I can tell by the sudden panic/ scream if he has seen one vs. getting hurt. I don't know where this comes from because I will go over and pick it up or step on it calmly.

It is hard for me to see such anxiety over these two things in him.

Suzanne & Duncan Forbes said...

My 9yr old hates to go upstairs or downstairs if no-body is there. He'll beg one of his younger sisters to go with him -

When he was trying to raise $$ to give to an orphanage in Africa, we offered to give him $.10 every time he went up or downstairs without fussing about anyone else going with him. It gave him some good motivation to get over his fear of being alone.

hawkeyejlp said...

What a great giveaway!
We are working with our four year old to dispell her fear of sleeping alone. Someday she will sleep solo all night!

Jaden Paige said...

My daughter also has a bit of separation anxiety, and she hates waking up in the middle of the night in her room by herself and gets really frightened when it happens. We're trying to overcome it, but at 2 years old, it's very hard to make sure she understands that we will ALWAYS be there for her. I think separation anxiety overall is normal for kids her age, but it seems a little extreme right now. I'm hoping she will grow out of it. Thanks for the chance to win! What a great prize package!

goofdad said...

My foster son is going through a lot of this right now. His separation anxiety is VERY real, as he just moved out from his mother's house. He's scared of losing me and his friends (I won't let that happen). He's scared his mother won't get her act together and he'll never move back. Then he's scared she will and he will.

He's also scared to let himself be vulnerable. In the last week he's conquered some of his fears and can now change his clothes and shower in our house. He's sleeping better than he has in the year that I've known him.

He's getting better, but it's painful. It's too slow (in that it's painful to watch his struggles) and too fast (in that I sometimes can't keep up) at the same time.

Praying ... lots of praying!

Melissa said...

My kiddos have gone through many fears, including a long fear of the color yellow. We are now trying to conquer the nighttime dryness for my younger one. She's getting older, early elementary age, and its getting to be time for sleepovers and such. We've tried everything...thank goodness for GoodNights!

melissa said...

right now my son is going through terrible separation anxiety - seriously, i can hardly go to the bathroom by myself. i think it started when i went away overnight last month - now he wakes up screaming for me! i'm hoping he gets over it soon!!

Caroline said...

I've definitely struggled with separation anxiety myself! Once when I was four or five ish, I got accidentally left on a Subway train (not my parents' fault... crowds in japan could separate anyone) and it terrified me for life. For a long time, whenever my parents walked out of a store while I was still paying, I would flip out and beg them to wait. But I'm slowly gaining realization that they don't want to leave me! :D They would have left a LONG time ago if they did. ;) Along with anyone else I really love. Thanks for the great giveaway! :D

Lua said...

Benjamin and I had to work on overcoming separation anxiety too! It's so difficult and not just for them! It would break my heart when he'd cry for me and it's so tough! <3 I'm glad we're over the hurdle but we do have #2 on the way!

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

Frankly, still trying to help the 5 year old remember to go #2 in the potty... or to go AT ALL. His older brother did the whole "holding it in" thing, and now he is, too! GAH. On the plus side, middle son used to chew his shirts, and then one day he just... STOPPED. I think some girl at school must have called him on it. :-)

Mrs. McFadden said...

We will start potty training our two year old in a few weeks. Definitely overcoming diapers!

Tress said...

We are working thru two issues with our 2 year old (going on three) little blessing. We are trying to potty train her and it has been quite difficult for the last 6 months and she is in a self pity mode. We are working thru these w/ lots of encouragement letting her know she is capable of doing all kinds of big girl things and there is no "I can't" but "I can try and with practice I can do it" Thank you for letting me share!
Tress

melissabrotherton said...

I can only assume that my youngest is afraid of eating...

He is 17 months old and refuses to eat...anything. For a while there he ate peanut butter sandwiches, bananas and cereal; that was it. Now he must have tired of those things because he adamantly refuses them when they are offered to him.

Of course he will gladly eat ice cream, suckers, cookies, crackers and drink gallons of whole milk. But really, what kind of mom would let their child live on that? <---- {getting tempted}

I'm starting to think he gets up in the middle of the night and makes himself an omelette, or something, because he's still thriving. But something's got to give soon...

Brandy said...

I find that I am quite insecure when it comes to my job sometimes. (I am looking forward to getting Beth Moore's new book on overcoming insecurity) I am overcoming my insecurity by thinking on what is true - God has given me this job or this task, and He is going to help me accomplish it. I cast my cares on Him and keep working.

Lisa said...

My son, who has some special needs, finally conquered potty training last month. We had been working on for literally years, and then, bam, he got it. He's having no accidents, needs very little help, and is SO proud of himself.It's been an answer to prayers.
iluvchrisnlevi@aol.com

MommaJen said...

my daughter is afraid of growing up - she's 4 and she never wants to get older than 5....she wants to be little forever and live with us forever. We take it day by day and don't talk much about her life beyond age 5. I hope once she turns 5 she will want to grow and we can slowly move beyond this.

Melissa R said...

We have recently gotten over having to stay with my son until he falls asleep at night. We'd do all our usual bedtime routine and then we'd have to lay with him until he was asleep. After years of this we got him out of it. He usually falls asleep pretty quickly now, on his own, after stories and songs are done. He is 7. I'm proud of him!

katie said...

We are working on getting through some trying times with my 7 year old. He was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder which not a lot of people understand. People want to call it strong willed, but it is SO much more than just that. We are working on getting that under control before he goes into middle school. With Jesus on our side and a lot of prayer I am positive we'll make it!

LashyLashla said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LashyLashla said...

For the moment my son seems fearless! It's his mama that struggles with being alone. I know a time will come soon where he cannot bear to be apart from me and I will have a toilet buddy once again but for now I count my blessings with him.

LashyLashla said...

For the moment my son seems fearless! It's his mama that struggles with being alone. I know a time will come soon where he cannot bear to be apart from me and I will have a toilet buddy once again but for now I count my blessings with him.

LashyLashla said...

For the moment my son seems fearless! It's his mama that struggles with being alone. I know a time will come soon where he cannot bear to be apart from me and I will have a toilet buddy once again but for now I count my blessings with him.

Superchikk said...

My 2 yr old son is shy by nature (I have NO idea where that came from. Must be a recessive gene.), and it takes him some time to warm up to people, even family members we see frequently.

Now that he's a little older and can understand, I always make sure to tell him before we get anywhere if I'm staying there with him. For instance, if I'm dropping him off at my Mom's for a little while, I'll tell him before we leave the house that we are going to Cini's, I'm going inside for a little bit, then I will leave for a while, then come back. If I prepare him for what's going to happen, he handles it much better.

I also encourage him to spend time with my family members. He loves to go to the barn, but I always make him ask someone else to take him, like my Dad or my brother. They are happy to do it, and it gives him a chance to bond with them without me hovering.

Jackie said...

We are currently working on relationships between our adult children and how they treat each other. It is hard to be pulled in different directions emotionally.

Anonymous said...

We are working to overcome my young son's speech delay. He has no other recognizable delays, but just won't speak. Some days it can be so frustrating for both of us, as he understand perfectly, but can't convey his wants/needs to me. We are so blessed that this is our biggest mountain to climb right now, as I know that is not the case with so many other families.

Amanda (amylynn)

Tracey said...

Nothing comes to mind currently, but two springs ago when all the caterpillars were out my 2 year old was terrified. They covered the sidewalks and he screamed like they were poisonous snakes. We read "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" almost every day that spring!

Jacqueline said...

After a sad divorce, I've started a new relationship and am trying to get over the fear of being abandoned or in other words unreciprocated love... taking it one day at a time.

taradon said...

My son has a fear of doors closing... deservedly so since he got his finger pinched and badly broken in a door at the church nursery one week. But almost a year later we're still working to convince him not to freak out any time he thinks a door might be closing too close to him.

Sam said...

My kids are currently working on giving up the thumb(5 yo) and paci(3 yo). My 3 yo is quite afraid of giving it up and doesn't sleep well without it. My 5 yo is a whole other story as she had a paci until she was 3 1/2 then had nothing but her blankie and then when she was 4 1/2 she started sucking her thumb. I have no idea what caused it but we are working with her to get her to stop.

The Stairs Family said...

I am trying to cope with seperation anxiety with my boys also. They are 22 months and 3 1/2 and I stay home with them so they are not used to being "left" anywhere besides the church nursery (which still brings big tears each week) Even if I leave them with my husband while I go to the grocery store, they fall apart. Its really tough- but I know its just a stage and they will *hopefully* realize that I am always, always going to come back.

Taunya said...

My 7 year old went through a big bout of this seperation fear that you speak of at the beginning of this school year. So much that I thought we were going to need to take her to therapy to discuss her feelings because she was having a hard time explaining why things were so difficult when we parted ways in the morning for school. Luckily, after a while it subsided. Now we just struggle with the fear of "not being perfect" -- a girl after her mamas own heart I think. We are working on it and it isn't quite as dibilitating as the seperation anciety was, but still a fear just the same.

Rhonda said...

My 8 year old has a fear of standing up for himself. He was bullied somewhat in 2nd grade, but would not say anything to the bully or the teacher, and barely us. He was afraid he would get in trouble if he told the teacher. We did some role playing and all kinds of other things to help. He has improved somewhat. That is an awesome giveaway. I will be encouraging summer camp this year too, but know fear will be involved. I'd love to win! Thanks!

Sharon said...

My 8yo son is afraid of thunderstorms. This all started about 2 years ago. Prior to that he had no problems at all, but now he's very nervous/scared if he thinks that it might rain. We went through a stretch of about 2 months where he'd ask me EVERY. NIGHT. if it was going to rain that night. I think nights make it worse. We aren't even sure what started it. :-(

We work hard to reassure him that he's safe in our house and continue to encourage him to pray for help to not be afraid and to be able to sleep peacefully. Some days it's better than others.

The Mommy said...

We have a three year old, strong-willed child. We are trying to overcome her extreme shyness in public and her temper tantrums at home. Reading "Have A New Kid By Friday" has helped us overcome some of our parenting problems. Hopefully, we will be able to equip both of our girls with what they need for a glorious life.

penny jar said...

my daughter is scared of having water in her eyes in the bath, but also scared of leaning back and letting the water be poured over her hair but not on her face. so we're working on it. it seems like every time we must figure out again that if you lean back and let mama pour the water then it doesn't get in her eyes. she's going to catch on one of these days!!

Amy S. said...

My daughter had a fear of baths. She loved swimming and baths in the summer but for some reason she started getting scared and every bath was a fight and she would just scream the entire time. She finally overcame this fear, I think showing her that there are lots of fun toys to play with in the tub helped.

kelly summers said...

I think as a family at whole we are learning to not have to be constantly entertained. Learning to be content with our surroundings and in the midst of the Lord.

JoyMarie said...

I'm terrified of my future. I'm a mother of three wonderful boys. My husband will be gone soon. He will be gone for a really long time. I'm afraid I may not be able to financially support my family. I'm afraid my children will have to live the way I did growing up, dirt poor. I can do it. I have no problems being poor, eating what you can catch ect. My children have never lived that lifestyle and I hope I can avoid it.

Sarah said...

I am making a very conscious effort not to saddle my children with my own issues. Traumatized from being mistaken for a boy when I was little. Hyper-paranoid about my children's safety. I don't want them to live in fear. I want them to live life fully.

Jennifer said...

Three of my four kids were thumbsuckers from birth. As a childhood thumb sucker myself, I knew what a difficult habit that was for a child to break. Our orthodontist recommended the Thumbguard. I had serious doubts, but to my amazement it worked! My 4 year old just finished wearing his for a month and so far so good.

Hannah T said...

I was brought up in a loving family that had lots of laughter in it. However, we also had lots of yelling. My parents dealt with frustration by yelling, at each other, and at us kids. I would not trade any of my childhood experiences for they have made me who I am today, yet I have just recently learned that I don't have to yell too.

I have an eight-year-old daughter who has issues with listening comprehension. She only listens to the first part of what I say, thinking that she already knows what I'm going to say, so she misses anything past the first few words, which can be EXTREMELY irritating. A few weeks ago, I asked her to put up the already-folded laundry, which she only did half-way, because she thought I said to put the laundry on the bed. So I got frustrated and yelled about how she needs to listen better. Being my child, she has inherited many of my tendencies, including yelling. Embarrasingly enough, I never realize that I'm arguing with her until we're halfway through an discussion, which tends to make me angry and yell more. So during our conversation about putting up the laundry correctly, I said "Do you tihnk (insert family friend's child's name who always behaves impeccably) talks to her mother this way?" at which point the little voice in my head said "Do you think (friend who's children behave impeccably) talks to her children this way?" .....which made me think. Later that night I spoke with my husband about my epiphany, and prayed for the Lord to help me be more loving with my children. I am happy to say that since that discussion over the laundry, there have been no more 'meltdowns' between my daughter and I, and I am hoping and praying each day that this is the beginning of a much more loving and calmer chapter of my parenting.

Diluted Applejuice said...

Note: I'm more than 20 years older than my baby sister and foster siblings and I LOVE IT, but it needs to be noted, ha.

My siblings all hate saying bye, and they hate it when adults leave the room or the house. The foster kids have good reason because of their pasts. And my baby sister has seen her best friends (other foster kids) come and go from the house.

It's something that she'll definitely struggle with for a longer time than most, but I hope she eventually realizes it's because she's lucky enough to share her home with other children who need a loving place to stay for a while...

Michelle said...

My middle daughter used to be afraid of everything. Not literally but she used to have a very cautious personality, afraid of rides, afraid of santa, afraid of easter bunny, you get the picture.

I am proud to say as a 9 year old she has overcome most of these fears which has helped her grow trememndously in life.

I know fear is real and some people have more fearful personalities but I think encouragaing our kids to face these fears and overcome them is important.

Thanks for the giveaway!

comichelle51 at hotmail dot com

melanie said...

I have many things on my "overcoming list".

but the most basic is nail biting.

rachelizabeth said...

My 5 year old has fears of growing up. He's not afraid to jump off the top of playground equipment, or do other crazy stunts, but he's afraid to learn new things like tying shoes, cutting his own food, and giving himself a bath. Part of it is lack of confidence. But I think part of it is the fear that once he can do those things, I won't help him with anything anymore. It's sort of separation anxiety, but of a different kind. He's learning that he CAN do things and we're cheering him on, but he's still wanting to be my baby.

Lisa @ akawest said...

Our younger daughter is trying not to be so shy. We keep telling her that you learn to fake it. I am still very shy, although people think I am extremely outgoing. I just talk a lot.

Mum in Bloom said...

For Lent we are trying to talk "nicer" to each other. We will talk to each other with Love and Kindness.

danyelle said...

My three year old was afraid of the pool/ swimming or maybe was ust afraid to try it because she was very curious about it. After multiple times of getting ready and going to the pool only for her to wind up in tears and me to be frustrated, I opted to let her see that the dog could swim and enjoyed it. Then she was more willing to hop in and try it.

misty said...

My 12 year old son is very shy and has a hard time talking to new people. I started with small steps like having him pay order and pay for something extra he wanted when we went to McDonalds. When he saw how easy that was he moved on to bigger steps. It worked great for him and he's really come out of his shell.

--Amie-- said...

My almost three year old is afraid of the hair dryer!!! I know that sounds crazy but it's the only thing she is truly afraid of!!! I have tried to show her it doesn't hurt me, and that there is no way it would hurt her, but she is having a hard time understanding!! So now everytime I blow dry my hair I let her hold the hair dryer and "help" me!! She is still pretty scared of it, but letting her do this with me each time is really helping!!

Paula said...

Where to start??? We have just recently completed a move 3hours away from all our family and friends. My 13yr old is acting out something awful, but we are dealing with it as best as we can! Our 3 yr old screams and cries everytime his daddy or I try to go anywhere. He really thinks momma or daddy are going to disapear like his aunties, uncles, cousins ect did. We try to explain that they didn't disapear and neither will we. We gave him a new blankie and teddy which helps sometimes. He tries to understand but it's tough!! This momma cries just about everyday on the way to work. I have faith that this will pass!!

Crayl said...

My children have all gone through what you are describing. The youngest is leaving that zone soon, hopefully. He is usually fine and okey dokey, but every once in awhile he panics bacause he can't find me rightthatmoment. Frustrating and heart breaking all at once.

Nikki said...

Not sure how it happened, but my oldest was completely freaked out by the carwash from about two until four years old. We talked about how "fun they are" and "look at the giant noodles" and stuff like "it tickles the car and makes it clean" and "it's like a bath." We resorted to bribery. We talked about how brave he was one time not screaming thru it. After that, he gained more confidence. I'm pretty sure he completely forgot about this fear.

Some may ask why I didn't just go to the carwash when he wasn't with me. But we lived in North Dakota and it was often 20-50 degrees below zero. And if I had to go into town with the van, my A.F. husband was usually out in the field working and I had the kids with me. That was the only opportunity. The snowy roads and the salt and sand on them made quite a mess out of vehicles. So it was necessary at least once a month to go through the drive-thru carwash. One winter I couldn't handle traumatizing him also fearing he'd pass on his fear to his younger siblings, so we went like three months without a wash.

Silly I suppose. But hard at the time.

You're much more than beautiful said...

My 2 year old has no fear of strangers and as a parent this TERRIFIES me! So, we are trying to teach her that it's good to nice to people but we need to exercise caution around people we don't know. Also, she has a fear of sharing (unless it is with the dogs... that's a different story)- we are teaching her to share with others by taking turns and showing her that we can play with things together. :)

Harmony said...

My oldest son was scared to use the toilet with out his special potty seat, until he was almost 5! It was disastrous if we didn't bring it us somewhere and he had to go #2. He was probably scared he'd fall in without it or something. We were worried he'd need to bring it to school in Kindergarten! He's 11 now so I can't remember how he worked his way through it but he did, before he started school!

Anonymous said...

Right now I am dealing with seperation anxiety. About 5 months ago my husband, our 4 kids and I moved to Indiana to be closer to his family. This meant moving 16 hours away from my parents, sisters, brother...etc. My family is SO very close, and it is taking a while to get used to the distance that now seperates us. I am taking heart in the realization that this move has brought with it future adventures for our family. We can now take the kids on their first airplane ride, Amtrack ride....etc.
P.S. I love your site!!
Andrea
dreanne1031(at)yahoo(dot)com

sunflowerlin said...

Well I don't have kids yet, but we do have a yellow lab named Eva! (Silly I know) and she is afraid of EVERYTHING. But a big thing is when the wind blows a plastic bag into her backyard, she freaks! She won't even go near it and heaven forbid it be tumbling around! Who even knows how to start tackling that! :)

sun_flower_lin at hotmail dot com

Robin said...

My 11 year old has been diagnosed with Anxiety and is trying to overcome his perfectionism and OCD tendencies. Every day it can be an issue over something different so we are learning different tools to use to help him overcome this and be successful in life.

Alex Hall said...

Somethings that's been difficult with each of our children has been their fear of the dark, I guess you would call it. They HAVE to have their door open, the hall light on and their heads sticking out of their room before they can go to sleep. You read that right, they have to sleep with their heads sticking out of their room which means they don't sleep in their beds, they sleep on the floor. OH MY!

Laurie said...

My second daughter went through two summers that she was deathly afraid of any kind of bug. Like screamed in terror over them. She still doesn't like them, but she isn't so paniked any more. Not such a good thing when you are camping LOL

Audrey said...

Both of my children (4 and 9) have dealt with a little bit of separation anxiety, especially with school. I have to be there when they walk out the door, not walking up to the school.
The biggest thing we're working on overcoming is my oldest son being afraid to try new foods. We realized we had a problem when we were fighting with him to eat strawberry shortcake. We decided to reward him with an extra dollar on his allowance for each new food he tries. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Janet said...

My son doesn't like it when big things are sprung on him. Things like: we have to move!

I don't think he's "overcome" it but we have started to "warn" him of big changes as soon as we can. That way, he can start to deal with it in his own way.

Uhhh, we have to move again... :(

Love,
Janet

Lorie said...

I'm a mother of four kids ages13-5.It seems like once you heilp them overcome one fear there is another! My two youngest don't want to sleep without their big sissy in their bed, So, many nights she gives in and they all three end up in one bed! The night s she doesn't we put a blanket or pillow in her spot and they pretend she is there. It seems to help. Also, we never go to bed without prayer and that is the best solution to fear!

Whitney said...

I am currently trying to overcome my self doubt. Today, I caught myself saying that I was stupid over something that really was stupid. I stopped right there and told myself that I was smart and I had done an awesome job.

I was hanging photos on the wall, BTW, haha.

chapfan said...

We've had a few deaths in our family lately. First a pet and then my brother. If you can imagine, it has been a little overwhelming. My oldest (5) has come to us long after we assumed he was sleeping in tears. He lays in bed thinking about one or the other, or Jesus dying. We've had many, many discussions about going to live with Heavenly Father and how it is a wonderful and happy place to be and that we can see them when we get there, too. We've talked about prayer and how we can get comfort from Heavenly Father, too. We've sung some children's hymns and let the love of our Savior warm us. We've snuggled and cuddled. We've especially prayed for guidance. We pray a lot.

jami said...

My son is terrified of falling down the stairs. We try to work on scooting down, but he stil prefers to be carried :).

Jamie~ said...

Four kids, four different stages (and parents, too)
8 yr old - working on overcoming anger and self-control issues
4 yr old - working on listening and treating his sisters kindly
3 yr old - overcoming whininess and screaming "Mine"
11 month old - wanting more and more food :)
Mama - overcoming the fear that God's not in control of all.

Tami said...

My daughter was always afraid to try new things in front of people. I think she feared the embarrassment of not being good at it; always wanting to be perfect. We just continued to encourage her and expose her to new social situations and events. She is now a confident 19 year old and loves to try new things and have new adventures.

MarytheKay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MarytheKay said...

Both my kids are trying to overcome messy rooms! Oh wait--that's what I AM wanting them to overcome! :-)

Honestly, my youngest has been ruled by different fears since birth. We have battled separation anxiety with lots of reassurance, offering choices, and compromises--basically, allowing her some feeling of control in those situations. Slowly, day by day, and as she is getting older, it is improving. What a RELIEF it is when she drops off at the church nursery peacefully.

She also still sucks her thumb...but her mama is not emotionally ready to tackle that one yet! Baby steps...

NerdMom said...

We have a 4 year old that has nightmares. He is fighting in them and then wakes up.He then comes and tells us how scared he is. Before, my hubby had gotten this to stop by telling him that since they are his dreams he always wins. But that was about 6 months ago and I think it is time for another father-son talk;). I look forward to us coming through this!!!

Lynsey said...

My kids are all suffering from extreme separation anxiety. I can't even go to the bathroom. It is bad.

If you have any advice, I would love to hear it. They are 1, 2, and 6 (but I'm mainly talking about the younger ones.)

Help!!

Amy said...

My oldest was seriously afraid of dogs......she would climb(literally) the closest adult if there was a dog anywhere nearby. Finally when she was 8 we got a dog....she lived on the kitchen counter for about 2 weeks from the time she got home from school until dinner but she's great now!!!

Jennifer said...

I have an 11 year old who is deathly afraid of - well death. He is even on anxiety medicine to help him cope. But the thing is, I can't guarantee that I will always be around. Everyone dies and that is a fact of life. He knows about death and he is terrified. I can't lie to him and he is old enough that he knows the truth anyway. ugh, I wish it were a simple fix, but we have been dealing with this for years now already.

Michelle Taylor said...

We're working on overcoming strangers and being passed to them. My daughter may only be 9months old, but she knows the difference between men and women. She'll go to any gal, but if her husband or boyfriend appears, she's terrified.

Jennifer said...

We have a few that we're working on with our daughter right now, including vacuum cleaners, strangers (and even some extended family members), and change.

Surviving the Smiths said...

My oldest , now 9, has had a real bad fear of the dark. Not even the dark, but going in other parts of the house alone even during the day.
As he has gotten older it has gotten better, and thankfully not rubbed off on his younger siblings.

Keana C. said...

My son is terribly afraid of vacuum cleaners when they are on. He loves playing with them as long as they aren't powered on. Every time I vacuum he gets up as high as possible and closely watches the vacuum.
I bought him a toy vacuum and try to encourage him to vacuum right along with me but that doesn't seem to work quite yet.

care-in said...

My almost six year old is learning how to handle her emotions. She tends to cry and break down the instant something isn't working right (can't find something, can't get something to work ,etc). We have been teaching her what is important to cry about and not to waste tears on silly things. This has been a battle for a long time so I am hoping maturity will help.

Lisa @ Simplified Saving said...

One of my daughters went through some horribly traumatic things as a child and is now very afraid of the dark. It's really hard as a teenager to have this fear...and even though she knows in her head that she doesn't need to be afraid of the dark, it's still something we are working through.

PS~Erin said...

With my 7 yr old, we've been talking about recognizing that "icky" feeling, when you know things are not right, and what to do in these situations.

On the subject, my two has learned to say, "That's so scary of you." It's his way of saying, "I'm scared". It's so encouraging and sweet to hear him verbalize what he's feeling.

Chad said...

Thunderstorms---After IKE we have had many nights worrying about storms.

C

Penny said...

I just discovered yesterday in fact that my two almost three year old is scared to go to the dr, which by the way we will be going tomorrow for a well baby check up. Thinking that she really wouldn't understand, I had told her we would be going to the dr...instantly she got a look of panic on her face and annouced that the dr. scared her. So I will be armed tomorrow with some positive reinforcement aka a surprise for her after her visit, while letting her know that the dr. is our friend and he only wants to help us.
Whew those were some long sentences! Would love to win the prize package - you have awesome giveaways!

Rachel said...

Well, two out of my five are still wetting the bed most nights... and my nearly-seven-year-old (yep, she's one of the nightime wetters) is also struggling with maintaining self-control in frustrating situations.

Tonya said...

My 5-year-old is working on learning to use her words when she's frustrated with her 2 1/2 year old brother -- and she's working on ignoring him when he's using his words to annoy her.

Alison said...

I am newer to your blog - and love it! My 6yr old son had a pretty severe bout with anxiety this fall after our neighbors house was broken into. It lead to many tough month ahead, including seeing a Christian child
psychologist, which was the smartest step we took towards healing. My son attends a Christian school, so he has a great reminder daily at school that he is protected by God. One step my son's Dr. recommended for us, which worked wonders, was go over the steps of how the day would more than likely go - then have our son repeat back to us what we said. That little step in itself has helped hugely. We have learned that anxiety / depression is genetic...and runs in our family. As a family we are learning so much about it together and learning to defeat our anxiety and push past our fears!

crmercer said...

I went through this with one of my twins last year. She started having separation anxiety when she found out I was pregnant and a close family member died. She also began to think about me growing old and dying or when she got older and would no longer be living with us....she said that she will always live with us lol. We worked through it although just the another, I put them to bed, said a prayer about God protecting her as she grows up. Little did I know that she would start crying. Her sister had to come get me and told me that she was upset. But we're working through it.

crmercer said...

I went through this with one of my twins last year. She started having separation anxiety when she found out I was pregnant and a close family member died. She also began to think about me growing old and dying or when she got older and would no longer be living with us....she said that she will always live with us lol. We worked through it although just the another, I put them to bed, said a prayer about God protecting her as she grows up. Little did I know that she would start crying. Her sister had to come get me and told me that she was upset. But we're working through it.

Kristen said...

i have a soon to be six year old who is trying to break his thumb sucking habit. he conquered it once but when he moved into his own bedroom he started sucking his thumb again. it is a toughy!

Paula Reece said...

I have 3 boys, and my oldest (12-year-old) is in his first year of middle school. His fears now come out as anger, which is so hard to deal with as a parent. He's afraid of peer rejection and since he's bigger than many of his classmates, he has a huge fear of being labeled as "fat." It breaks my heart, but I'm trying to help him deal with his issues, which isn't always easy with a moody tween!

Amyb said...

My son had severe speech delays and sensory issues that continued on into kindergarten. He didn't go to "regular" preschool and really had adjustment issues with kindergarten. I started going to lunch at the school with him every day. It was a good checkpoint for him. On the days I didn't come, I sent pictures of us and picture cued sentences. He still struggled on those days. Flashforward to second grade: he is reading and doing math three grade levels ahead. Speech therapy has almost ended. Yet, I am still coming to the school for lunch everyday. So, we decided it was time for him to conquer his fear of being alone at lunch--there is a lot of shuffling of who sits by who and he doesn't want to sit alone. We have conquered the change and the adjustment by slowly lowering the amount of days that we (my four-year-old and I) come to the school. We are down to 3 days a week and moving on to 2 days next month. I worked at making it his idea. I send extra food and special snacks. We all know he is fine and doesn't need the visits but making the change has been the adjustment. He is conquering many things as he becomes even more independent and grows up. In my own way, I have had to conquer my own need to comfort and give him that sense of security which I think is actually a harder process.

Tonya said...

After our home was broken into during the night while we were all sleeping, my 7(at the time)daugther did not want to go to sleep at night. I had a really hard time too. So, we started reading scripture every night. I also got my daughter a pillowcase w/scripture all over it. Almost 2 years later, we're doing fine.

Jessica D. said...

nail biting! I know it's so silly and simple :D

Sonya said...

I don't have any kids yet, but I know my big fear as a child was getting physically hurt! I still have that fear!

michelle said...

My 4 year old is petrified of green beans ( ok mabye not, but I can't seem to get him to eat anything even remotely healthy without a fight)....
and going to sleep in his room by himself. we have tried flashlights, and nightlights, and stuffed things and prayers and everything else.

jill said...

we are working on/praying for my 5 year old daughter to be able to stay dry at night. my oldest had no trouble with this, and i don't want the middle daughter to be embarrassed about it, so we are hoping we can find a solution soon. love your blog!

julia said...

One of my 7 year-old twins is afraid of Big Foot and any unknowned monsters coming to our house during a night, so he goes to bed with a foam sword in his bed and a Star Wars sword under his bed.

Courtney said...

you mentioned a book awhile ago (just getting caught up...) called do hard things - is it the one by brett harris and his brother? what age group is it for?? just trying to figure out if it would be good for my 8 year old...thanks!

Kelly said...

Right now I am the one trying to overcome the fear...the fear of sending my child to kindergarten next year! Yikes! She has been home with me for 4 years and while she is more than ready and willing to bounce right through the doors of the school, I am the one that is shaking in my boots.
Talk about separation anxiety!

C.C. said...

MY kida are working in being more respectful with one another. They are great outside the home but can be pretty terrible to one another. We are hekping eachother to be more aware of it and doing nice things for one another.
Christina
httP://ohmommaok.blogspot.com
ohmommaok@yahoo.com

Spring said...

My 11 yr old has been dealing with a fear of failure, which has caused him to avoid trying new things. This year I suggest he choose one thing that did not come easily to him, and try to conquer it. He ended up choosing ice skating. We chose to make a small rink in our yard, to make it less embarrassing than trying on a public rink. He did it! He liked the feeling of conquering that one so much, he has now decided to try conquering bowling (which he quit after two balls in December, because they went in a gutter.)

Kristen Bieber said...

My littlest one is currently scared of going to bed. She shares a room and we have a night light on every night that we don't turn off. I feel for her and am trying my best to make her feel better but keep our normal routine in hopes she gets over this herdle.

Tamara B. said...

My children are trying to over come the fear of being homeless. We lost our home last year to foreclosure, since then we have moved to a new place but they still seem unable to settle in and feel comfortable.
tamben7996(at)aol(dot)com

Jessica Chandler said...

I am so surprised to see all the anxiety out there! My 7 year old is being treated for anxiety. His biggest fear? Going to Sunday School! Makes me so sad for him...he's so afraid we won't find our way back together even though he KNOWS we'll be back for him!

Karen said...

Eight years ago my son and I were on our way to the local theater to see a movie when we were involved in a car accident. Although we were not seriously hurt, the other party was, and between the rescue vehicles and the helicopter that landed in the roadway for the other party, it was pretty traumatizing for my 7 year old son. And me? I never wanted to drive again. I had a crippling fear of driving, and my son had a crippling fear of going anywhere with anybody in a car. We went to counseling for a brief time, but it didn't help. I realized that my son would not get better if I didn't get better first, so I started relying on the Lord to help me take baby steps, starting with just sitting in my driveway in my new vehicle (the other one was totaled, and even having a new vehicle was not enough incentive to want to drive again). Then my son would sit in the vehicle with me. Then there were short forays out of our long driveway, then to the local store, then to the store a little farther away, and so on. My husband works out of town during the week 150 miles away, and our biggest victory over our fears has been that my son and I now drive that 150 miles to go stay with my husband whenever we feel like it. All thanks to the Lord (and baby steps!).

SavannahsSmiles said...

My three year old is desperately afraid of the BIG MOUSE...a.k.a: Chuckecheese. We are trying to help him overcome this ;-).

Kelly said...

I have five children and all of them have had various fears and struggles over the years. The one I'll mention right now is a struggle for my 9yr old. Two years ago, our van caught fire in our driveway and nearly caught the whole house on fire. He has been extremely fearful of fire ever since. He doesn't want candles on his birthday cake. He doesn't want to participate in the Christmas eve candle lighting at church. On top of that, he is afraid to go to any part of the house alone. He's terrified that if we are in the family room and he's in the bathroom a fire could break out in between and we couldn't get to him. I thought we had made some great strides in this area, but lately it seems the fears have a grip on him again.

Ivy said...

My two year old seems to be developing a fear of spiders (just starting to see them all over). Since I'm horribly afraid of spiders myself... (woke up as a child with one walking across my face) I'm still trying to figure out how to address it with her in a way that I can handle, too!

jczellar said...

At our house, we are struggling with our fear over "what happens next" with Daddy out of a job for more than 4 months now. Lots of opportunities for talking about trusting God, though! :-)

The Tylers said...

We're dealing with separation anxiety right now, but ours is the baby/nursery kind. It kills me to leave her crying! :(

dawn said...

believe it or not, my 13 year old is on her way to conquering (finally!) her fear of bedtime/separation. She has trouble falling asleep if we don't tuck her in and pray with her, and she knows where we are (like which floor of the house) etc.

She has made huge strides in this last year... which is good because she is already wanting to stay up later than me.

Thankful for God's work in her life...

Lori said...

My 9 year old daughter is afraid something will happen to me if she doesn't hug and kiss me goodbye everytime I go anywhere. I'm not really sure how to overcome it. I just make sure not to leave without saying goodbye first!

Jen'n'Jordan said...

My 4 year old has overcome so many fears in his short life - he was diagnosed with (high-functioning) autism at 2 years old. We have overcome silly things like textures of food, to sleeping alone, and even bigger for him - going potty in the toilet! Right now we are working on my daughter's (seemingly crazy) fear of flowers! Good times at our house!

Alexia said...

My 3yo has a hard time going to sleep in his bedroom because he is afraid that monsters will come out of the ceiling and kill him. I honestly have no clue where he came up with this, but we are trying our hardest to combat it - mainly so I can sleep on my own again LOL

Travis and Sarah Shay said...

i am trying to overcome the control issue. As a seminary students wife i am learning I am not in control!! I have to give it all to the Lord and know he will guide us and place us exactly where he wants us.

Thanks so much for your wonderful blog!
Sarah

Mrs Groovy said...

My son, who will turn 10 next month is afraid to sleep by himself. He sleeps in my room and has for the majority of his life. We've painted his room to make it cool with a life size spiderman to protect him, we've changed bedding and bed position. I've slept on his floor in his room, I've slept with him, he's slept with us... and now I've given up and getting him out of my room ever and have now changed my large walk in closet to a small room for him with his own bed. Sound weird but it works.

Kelly said...

My daughter is afraid of the dark. She absolutely has to have some kind of light on at night and then the light in the hallway has to be on to get to the bathroom. She would never leave her room without it being on.

Lee said...

I am always fighting, fighting, fighting my own social anxiety. One day at a time.

Noah is currently anxious about something, waking with night terrors so we're working on figuring that one out.

The Cate Family said...

My 3 year old girl is very independent and very stubborn. Just a few months ago, we finally overcame the potty training issue, but it took many days, weeks and even months to get her to finally give up the diapers.

Laura said...

What stories! I'm getting teary reading through them! Here's mine: my 14-year-old daughter is currently making her way through freshman year in a brand new GIANT high school. We moved here before school started, and she started on the first day not knowing a soul. As if being the new kid in a school of three thousand kids isn't hard enough, she's been battling alopecia, and lost almost half of her hair over the summer. Can you even imagine being a 14-year-old girl in a new school, with no friends, and being...BALD? She's really done well, though - made lots of friends, and has such a cute, crazy colored, punky haircut now that her hair has grown in a bit. She's such a great kid!

Kristina Joy said...

My daughter is six and sucks her fingers. I'm wishing she would have liked the nuk because those are easier to take away!

Grateful for Grace said...

I am trying to overcome my fear of my toddler never talking.

Stonefox said...

My adopted daughter is afraid of hunger, obviously from past experiences she endured. We are working on helping her identify her fears and expressing them (and trust, patience, meeting needs, etc too!)

mylifewithmoxie said...

My three year old has been dealing with anxiety/fear for a while now. She becomes anxious and fearful over just about anything - from Chuckie Cheese to library time to Daddy coming home from work.
We have been working really hard for over a year now on decreasing her anxiety about Daddy coming home from work by having treats "grow" in his pockets while he is at work. It has taken months but she is slowly working through it (with a little positive reinforcement).

Tonja81 said...

My just-turned 6 year old daughter, Shelby, is trying to overcome her fear of the dark. Where does the fear of the dark come from anyway? It seems to happen to a lot of children! Anywho, my daughter announced to me this afternoon that she wanted to sleep without her nightlight tonight. I told her okay & that I was proud of her, but I, honestly, thought she'd give in come bedtime tonight. But, nope, she was still headstrong with it and she actually fell asleep without it. I am beyond proud of her. This is HUGE for her! :)

Janey said...

My son Adam went through terrible separation anxiety about a year ago--when he was...THIRTEEN! I never did come to completely understand what was going through his mind those few months, but he has some autistic tendencies, so who knows? He followed me around the house, so much that I kept tripping on him. I couldn't go to the mailbox either! He was old enough to be left at home alone, and he had done so for some time, but all of a sudden it terrified him. So whenever it was necessary for us to leave him, we had to find a sitter for our 13-year-old. Awkward. But people understood when I explained the situation.

Finally, FINALLY, we came upon a solution. He was allowed to play Wii the WHOLE TIME we were gone. (He is usually limited to one hour a day.) This excited him and thoroughly distracted him while we were gone, so it worked. We started with short amounts of time initially, and he was excited that he didn't cry once, and he only called my cell phone 4 or 5 times instead of every 2 minutes like he did before.

Jessica said...

My whole life I have been halted by my own fear of being alone, helpless, and in harm's way. I work everyday to think through this fear and remind myself to believe I will be okay.

too Blessed to Stress said...

No kiddos for us yet... but i remember that as a kid, i was afraid of the dark. It took lots of prayer, a few night lights now and then and the assurance that my parents would come if I needed them to get over that fear. i still don't enjoy the dark, but I know that there is someone even bigger than me who protects me from above. There is no need to fear when my Father above is light in the midst of complete darkness!

~Emily N. from "too Blessed to Stress"

Lorie said...

We're having bed time issues since my 2 oldest are learning to share a room to make space for their baby brother.

Bec said...

When Mr 5 was 3 years old, he often woke up scared and would "see" something in his room he termed "The yucky man". We taught him 2 scriptures and encouraged him to remember them whenever he felt scared the first was 1 John 4:18 "perfect love casts out all fear" the second 2 Timothy 1:7 "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of peace, love and a sound mind". We also taught him his authority in Christ and he would say "In jesus name "GO AWAY" We found after about a month things settled and he stopped waking up scared.

Melissa missmlis at msn dot com said...

I am working on overcoming my ability to not forgive. About a year and a half ago my best friend of 11 years made a choice that was so hurtful and traumatizing to me that I am still struggling with trusting female friends. I have had lots of conversations with God about at least providing forgiveness in my heart, but it is a very daunting task, and I'm not sure when it will happen. Keep me in your prayers!

I'm also getting married this summer and I'm working really hard to train myself to overcome my messy habits!

Dana said...

Hello there :)


I must admit, that I have white coat syndrome :( I am afraid of the doctor. This started when I was pregnant with my oldest son, and had trouble with my BP. I would dread going, because if it was elevated, in the hospital I would go. It has carried on, and my son is now 19.

My daughter is afraid of heights. She pushes herself to overcome this, and has become much better about it :)

Thanks for the nice giveaway!


Dana
d09@goldingers.com

Kathy said...

My youngest will not stay in his bed all night. He starts there, but somehow finds himself in someone else's bed or at least their floor by morning. We've prayed with him, tried to comfort him, given him options that might make him feel more in control. Nothing has helped. He says he has bad dreams and awakes afraid to be alone. Right now my military hubby is in Haiti so the little one is just sleeping with me. It's easier for all of us, but when Daddy comes back home in a few months Daddy is going to want his spot back. My older two went through this, but because they are close in age, they usually slipped into each other's rooms - not ours. This is hard. I'd love something to help us help him.

Tonia said...

My oldest child was scared of P.E. Through a lot of observation on mine and the coaches part we were able to figure out why and then we just started over. We eased her into a normal p.e. class by having them do some classes outside, and having them play games that were less aggresive. The coach was wonderfully kind and they have a great relationship even now, 3 years later.

realmom said...

My 3yo has been going to daycare since she was 4 months old and has always been very happy there. A few months ago she started crying in the morning saying she didn't want to go to school. When it first started I wanted to just quit my job(which provides our health insurance so really can't do that!). Once we got there she usually still went right in and seemed fine and most days she would be so happy at the end of day she didn't want to come home. Over time the crying had decreased but still a couple times a week she will spend the morning in tears!Tough way to start the work day!

Anonymous said...

My eight-month-old isn't wildly clingy yet, but she definitely loves Momma best and I'm worried for when she is going to get that dreaded anxiety!
emilyslinger at juno dot com

Mary Toth said...

I have a young 4 year old who is afraid to stop sucking her fingers- in her defense we moved twice in the last 2 years and a new baby is on the way...older sister (almost 8) has bad dreams and ends up on the floor in our room once every other week- we'd love to help her not be "afraid" of sleeping in her new room either

Traci said...

My four yr old is afraid of the doctor. One thing that really helped is when I had my second child. When "baby" had to go to the doctor, then she went along too, and got to be the big helper. Now when it is her turn for a checkup, she is better about dealing with it.

SandyG said...

Funny how reading about little ones always takes me back. My daughter is 13 ("almost 14 Mom!") and she'll be heading to high school in the Fall. We already had her orientation there, and she's more than a little afraid of going to such a big school! We've talked a lot about taking God with her and making lots of new friends and getting involved with lots of new activities. Hopefully I'm helping her see it as a big new adventure!!

Katie said...

We, my son and I, are struggling to overcome our loneliness over my husband being gone all the time. Daddy is in the Navy and while he's not deployed yet, he works 13-14 hr days. Usually leaving before our son gets up and coming home after he's tucked in. We're waiting for our Hug a Hero doll to come in the mail.... until then one of dad's t-shirts stands in.

Celeste said...

We have 8 so we've worked through a lot of different fears. Right now a big one is our 7 year old, whose older brothers are starting to graduate and go off to college. He doesn't want to sleep alone in a room and when they are gone in the evening (as older teens often are) it's fight to reassure him. We finally started letting our puppy sleep with him-though it's getting hilarious as the boxer grows and takes up more of the bed! Whatever works huh?

midwestmom3 said...

My oldest has trouble going to sleep at night. I think it is hard for her to let go and relax enough to drift off. We have always tried relaxation exercises and different ways that work for her, like music and stories.

Dana said...

My 5 year old is scared to go upstairs by himself. His room is up there and we have a loft and can see him from downstairs but he cries the whole way up the stairs. I'm just not sure what to do to try to help him :(

Tiffany said...

My sweet four year old still struggles with bed wetting. We are working on that. She has made it two nights dry this week! Yippy!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

I'm only entering for the kid, Mason, you blogged above in your newest post. Should I win, I want him to get this. Our children have been relatively lucky (so far, knocking on wood) but Mason? Look at what HE'S overcome! So yeah, consider my entry an entry for him. Okay? Okay. :)

Shelly said...

I am working on my guilt issues. I have a hard time accepting help, favors and sometimes gifts without being able to give back to that person in an equal or bigger way.
This looks like a great give away.

Shelly in Kansas City
shell_anna@msn.com

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