Thursday

I Lied

A couple of weeks ago, my in-laws made the long drive down to Texas for a visit. They are farmers and aren't able to come very often, so it was a special treat, especially for my kids.

They came in late Thursday and were driving back home early Sunday morning. Since it was such a quick trip, I decided at the last minute to keep my kids home from school on Friday so we could take a day trip. Both our parents are aging and I wanted my kids to have as much time as possible with their grandparents.

We had a wonderful weekend (which included a community garage sale and many desserts!)

I didn't give much thought to my kid's absence until it was time to write a note to the school. And that's when I remembered that all grades given on days of unexcused absences (basically everything except sickness and doctor's visits are unexcused) result in a maximum of a 70% grade.

Basically, my kid's missed a day of school and of all the grades taken on that day, (including my daughter's big English test) the most they could make was a 70 because of an unexcused absence.

Dumb rule.

So. I wrote on the note "please excuse my children from being absent, they were under the weather."

I'm not proud and believe me, I justified it. I convinced myself that it was okay because they were my kids and it was a good reason.  It was a good reason, right? I mean, what if my kid's grandparents die?

I think I had played the situation over in my head enough to feel okay about it.

Until my son got home from school on Monday.

"Mom? Today at school. I felt really weird. My teacher asked me why I missed school and wanted to know if I felt better. My stomach was in knots and I didn't know what to say," he struggled to say.

And that's when it hit me. I lied.

I didn't exaggerate or stretch the truth or bend the rules for a good cause.

I lied.

I started explaining to my son about the rule and grades and......and I stopped.

What exactly was I trying to say? That it's okay to lie if you don't like the rules? It's okay to work around guidelines if we don't like them? That a 70% on a test isn't good enough?

I grabbed him by the hand and said, "Son, I lied. I'm sorry. I didn't like the rule at school, so I tried to get around it. It's my fault you felt that way. Will you forgive me for putting you in that situation?" And then I added, "Next time, just tell the teacher your Mom kept you home." Because after all, I am human, y'all.

He actually heaved a sigh of relief.

I beat myself up about this. Here I am getting caught in a lie by my own child! Authoring a newsletter on building character in kids, while confusing my own. Ugh.

I'm sure you can understand why I almost didn't share this story with you. But I've forgiven myself, God has forgiven me and I'm thankful for the opportunity for growth.

Parenting is hard work, especially when you're the model.

Food for the Soul:
Psalm 15:1-2
"LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is 
blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart."

*************************
Yesterday (Wed), I traveled about an hour to speak at a Mom's group (I was invited by a blog reader). They ignored my nervous jitters and made me feel at home. This was one of the many stories I shared and they made me feel normal. Thank you, sweet ladies! I enjoyed it.

*UPDATED*
For those wondering (I've talked about this some on Twitter) I ended up contacting my kid's school and telling them that my kid's should have received an unexcused absence because I wasn't completely forthright about the reason. The school chose not to punish my kids and said they hoped we had a great time with our family. Good lesson learned here!




74 comments:

Katie @ Kitchen Stewardship said...

The conscience is a tricky place, and the father of lies a tricky beast! You did the right thing 'fessing up to your son, and isn't it gratifying that he has a well-formed conscience and felt guilty? Some kids wouldn't, not one bit. You did a great thing! Kids learn from our mistakes as much as we do.

:) Katie

Preemie Miracle said...

I just did one similar. But I just can't find the peace to forgive. I really like this post

at the Blue Barn said...

Kristen:
I can certainly identify with your situation. I have been in the same place many times before. It's good that you were honest with your son so he could sort out and understand his feelings. Sadly, the teacher should have asked you about his absence - you're the legal guardian. Truth be told, it is sad that our children have to learn these hard and very adult lessons because of some very odd rules. I hope that you feel better about the situation soon. And try to remember that the plan was to spend time with the grandparents. All the best,
Jennifer

Angela said...

You just taught me how to tell my kids I did something wrong. I often get caught up in telling them they need to correct their behavior when sometimes I need to correct my own. And sometimes that means I should apologize to them. It's hard to remember who we are serving. When you expect your children to obey OUR rules all the time. We as parents have to obey God's rules too.
Thanks for sharing your story.

Rudy Rukus said...

Thanks for sharing. Glad I am not the only mom that beats herself up over choices made! Good thing we are all human or there would be serious trouble.

rachelizabeth said...

I'm glad you shared this story. It's a bitter pill to take, but worth it. You showed your son that no, you are not perfect. You also showed him how to admit said imperfection and how to ask for forgiveness. Those lessons will stick with him.

It also shows that you ARE doing a great job as a parent because your son has been taught honesty and was not comfortable in being less than honest.

Thanks again for sharing!

Small Town Mamma said...

Kristen - thank you for 'keeping it real'. It is comforting for all of us to know that we are all human. And your son sounds like he is a very thoughtful boy.

Sharon said...

i'm reading Shepherding a Child's Heart in my mom's group and we discussed these very things today... How we model the work of Christ to our kids every day. And sometimes, I think seeing us fail, confess and repent is the most powerful testimony of all.

thanks for sharing this - makes me feel like we're all in this together!

Britta said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes the rules are horrible. I kept my daughter out of school for a week when my grandson was admitted to the hospital, in PICU, brainsurgery was scheduled for friday, i called the school and told them what was going on and asked what i needed to do because i didn't want my daughters work to suffer, she's a senior and i really don't need her to flunk.The asst principal told me: not to make light of your situation but there is a reason we expect kids to be here, it's to learn! I replied: do you seriously think my kid will learn when she is there when she is worried about her nephew? i was so upset, i ended up calling the principal and told him their rules are stupid, didn't make a difference but made me feel better!

Jamie @ Six Bricks High said...

I've been faced with this very issue. I agree it is a dumb rule. What a great example you have set by apologizing to your son. We are so human and it is good to know we aren't alone in this tough gig called motherhood.

Stonefox said...

I am so encouraged because I did my own post about my failure with my son last night. We ALL sin. I think the more important thing is what we model to them when we do...that there is a thing called grace. Praise God. If there is anything I want my kids to know, it is that they can go to a forgiving God. THAT is the character we all want them so desperately to see.

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing. It is good to know we all make mistakes. My children's school here in Maryland is much stricter about absences than their school in Colorado. My kids are so far ahead in school I try not to worry about it. They will be missing three days before spring break for my sister's wedding and another day at Christmas when we have out of town guests in. Oh well, I know the point of your story was about lying not school attendance but I get why you did what you did even though it wasn't right.

Jessica said...

Parenting IS hard. Good for you coming clean with your son.

A Dusty Frame said...

Parenting is definitely hard! Amazing how these little ones show us our failures so often;0!

Thanks for being transparent.

**You said you've forgiven yourself--not being overly picky, but we need forgiveness from God not ourselves.

Carla said...

ugh... I struggle with this, too! And sometimes it is a justifiable reason, but don't like to lie about it. I just say that I kept them home and leave it at that. Then for 2 seconds think it would be so much easier just to home school. Then I get over it!! :-)

carlisle clan conversation... said...

Thank you for your honesty! Can I just say it's refreshing, I know that's not what you want to hear...but it's what I needed. I think too many times we make judgment calls based on the definition of the little white lie. You're right, a lie is a lie. Thanks for the reminder, because after all sin is sin.

Shalvika Sood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shalvika said...

Give yourself a pat on the back Kirsten. Not just for ‘fessing it up to your son, but also for sharing this and giving others the courage to behave in the ‘right’ way. I've seen a lot of discussion happening off-late on the importance of being the example you want your child to be, and your action comes as a proof of how well it works. You were absolutely right in ‘keeping the big picture’ in mind where the grandparents were concerned, guess it just didn’t extend to the grades. But the important thing is to act correctly once you’ve realized the mistake. Parenting is a constant test in which the grades depend on how well our children respond to their tests! So full marks to you for your sons reaction :)

Mrs. Marine said...

Thank you for sharing. No one ever said parenting was easy. Its so hard to try and teach your kids to be good people and not screw up in front of them. I think you had good reason for keeping them home and then handled your sons questions perfectly. Its a stupid rule. But I guess I get the reason for it as well.

Princess Ang-hamin said...

Wow, I just gained a new respect for you! You're human ;) Thanks for sharing.

Justbeingamum said...

Being a Mum is very hard, there is no rule book to follow, we just have to do our best and do what we feel we have to on our way. Our Children learn from us, yes we stuff up on the way, but we are only human. YOU are only human. Thanks for sharing.

The Source said...

I was going to comment on how harsh the school's rule is, but then I got to thinking. I wish they would implement that one at my daughter's high school! I can't tell you how many of the top 10 students in her class "have a headache" on the morning of an important test or exam only to show up after that class period absolutely fine...and with 7 days to find out all about the test and make it up! With this rule I'm betting that would stop very quickly! It does seem harsh for elementary kids, though, since they are dependent on adults to get them to school in the first place.

I think it's wonderful that you were able to sit down with your son and talk about your mistake. And what a fine young man you've got there...many children wouldn't have thought twice about lying to the teacher.

Summer said...

Thank you so much for sharing this!! I cannot tell you how the Lord is using you in everyday mamas lives..... I really REALLY needed to read this today. Thanks!!!

Amanda from Faith, Food and Family said...

Thank you for sharing this with us! I think you handled it wonderfully! We're not perfect and we're going to mess up. The most important thing is that you were honest with your son. I think it was a learning experience for both of you.
God bless you!
Amanda

Lori said...

What a great story to share with us since we all struggle with little white lies at times!

Anonymous said...

Ok, so you weren't exacty telling the whole truth, but you did say you were outdoors with your kids on a day trip . . . so actually it wasn't a lie when you said your kids were "under the weather". You never said they were sick. And in fact, if they were outdoors, they were "under the weather." That being said, it is wonderful that you sat down with your son and explained things to him and are teaching him not to lie.

Tina said...

(that is a dumb rule)

The lesson you just taught your son will NEVER be forgotten. You're awesome!

CourtneyKeb said...

I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for that! I'm always so excited when you update! Either a good laugh or a good lesson!

jmberrygirl said...

Maybe we're just a whole crew of slackers, but my mom had her own rules about missing work and school. She wouldn't have felt guilty and neither did her children. I'm reevaluating my opinions today...

C! said...

Wow that was good for me to read! My son is getting old enough (almost 4) to know if what I've said is true or not, and it has really made me realize how I've become lax with the truth - for example, telling someone a reason for not calling them back sooner...saying I was so busy, when the truth really was, I just had other things on my mind. There are so many instances in a day where for whatever reason, it would be easier to just not be forthcoming with the truth or to outright lie, and having a little boys ears picking up everything I say is really shining a light on me and making me wince a little. I need to work harder to be a better example. Thanks!

Carla said...

I'm so glad you chose to share your story. It just helps me to know that we're all human and struggle daily between whats right and whats accepted. After all, isn't character 'what one does when no one else is watching'? I feel like your son will respect you more because you can admit when your wrong and ask forgivness, and that he can do the same thing when he needs to. Thanks Again! Carla

Amy @ Amy Loves It! said...

Thanks for sharing! Just know, you are not alone :)

Parenting is hard, and I have failed many times... even when my intentions were good. I feel ya!

Marci @OvercomingBusy said...

Thanks for being real and sharing with us. What a great lesson for all of us!

Trac~ said...

You may have lied Kristen, but you still did the right thing! Big hugs sweetie! :o)

Dawn said...

Why didn't you just excuse them because you had a family function? In my book that IS an excused absence, as are "church functions" (Snow Camp, which happens in January and my jr high & high schoolers miss school on Friday for it!) Family functions COUNT!

MissMeliss said...

hey, you apologized... we ARE human, and when we make a mistake, the most important part is to apologize.

don't beat yourself up over this anymore!!

big hugs!!
melissa

Jen @ After The Alter said...

see this stuff makes me very nervous when I someday have kids in school...you shouldn't have to lie..you are the parent and chose to take your kid out of school. Who are they to lower a kids grade b/c the parent made a decision...as the PARENT!! But because of this rule you were forced to lie...and you did so to benefit your child! This stuff really scares me. Don't feel bad for lying I think you did the right thing :)

O'Brien said...

The problem is with the mass, not with your 1 lie. It is all the other lies that parents have told that made the rule that put you in the situation. If we lived in a small community like we are meant then they teacher would understand and believe you when the reason is GREAT!!! One question....do you tell your kids that Santa exists? Technically that is a lie!! What we do to protect innocence is usually MORE important then a lie. However, I love how you handled it with your son, great lesson...don't make excuses just admit your lie, take responsibility and move on!!!
That's my 2 cents.

blessdtwice said...

Kristen, I actually started memorizing this verse last night and I think it might be good to share with you..."Proverbs 24:16 (NIV)..for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again,
but the wicked are brought down by calamity"...

I feel like all I do sometimes is fail (i.e. fall) and its important for me to remember that its not the falling- its the getting back up...

Hang in there!

Tami said...

Thanks for responding to the moving of the Spirit urging you to be transparent for His glory. I've often shared that if we build walls, God can only shine through the cracks. When we let down the walls and be transparent for God...His full glory can shine for all to see. Thanks for shining the light today and showing how the forgiveness at the cross works in even the littlest details of our lives. God Bless!

Melissa R said...

Kristen, I think that spending a day with grandparents is much more important than the additional 30% a child could get on a test. MUCH MORE. IMO, you could have proudly written that your kids were out because they spent the day with family. So many lessons learned in one lie! I think you should clear the air with the teacher. Be humble, say you lied and that it taught both you and child a huge lesson and that this won't happen again. Hold your head up, the cause WAS a good one... family time.

thediaperdiaries said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. We want so badly for parenting to be black and white, but a lot of times it is gray and we have to make a decision. I strongly believe in the amazing power of asking our children for forgiveness. I think it has life changing implications.

Lisa @ akawest said...

Sometimes lies make more sense than rules. Telling the truth as an adult can, at times, be the wrong choice.
I would not want to live in a world where honesty is the only way.

Kimberly said...

Kristen, first -- thanks so much for coming to talk with us yesterday! It meant so much to me to have you there and share what you did with us! It was a great time, and so very nice to meet you!

Second....how is it that God shines on us when we need it? I am thinking about pulling my oldest from school. We got FREE tickets to The Children's Museum and I wanna go with all three of my kiddos!!

So, I think I am gonna do it. I am gonna buck the system....and pull her out.... What the heck, right?? She is making good grades 100% on every spelling test on each Friday!

That is.....if my lovely husband approves!

LifeAtTheCircus.com said...

Ya know Krista, I think you handled the situation very well. I totally understand why you kept them home and think it was a wonderful idea. I still remember the day my mom did that when my grandparents were in town and we went to DC to see the cherry blossoms. Sweet, sweet memories. But, I also understand why you wrote the note that you wrote. And then I understand that icky feeling of guilt when confronted with it by your son. But I totally applaud you for calling it what it was, sin, and for confessing that to your son and seeking his forgiveness. You taught your son a lot that day. You taught him about humility. You taught him that you aren't perfect and you know that. You aren't a hypocrite either... you made a mistake and confess it and were forgiven. Our kids need to see that. They need to see us confess our mistakes when we make them. They know we aren't perfect, they need to see how we handle that. They need to see that just like them, we are sinners in need of Gods grace and that just b/c we are grown ups doesn't mean we don't still need that same grace.

Well handled dearie.
And thanks for sharing it with us!
Wanna come to MD and speak to my moms group?? I'd LOVE to have you!! :-)

Tiffany said...

Thanks for sharing! I think we can all admit we have lied to people because we don't like the rules etc. Ask my husband about the time I lied about a big shopping trip because I didn't like the budget he gave me.

Yeah.

Again, thanks for sharing your story. And again through a child God shows us where we go wrong. Very HUMBLING!

Kara@ Creations by Kara said...

Man am I glad they don't have that rule at my sons' schools!

JenT said...

I think you did the right thing in explaining to your son.
I will admit, I think that rule sounds stupid too. Makes me glad we homeschool. But I don't remember such strict rules when I went to school. Are there really that many children skipping school that they have to do that?

got2havefaith said...

Busted by your kids! That is a dumb rule at school anyway.

Julie Stiles Mills said...

What a wonderful, authentic example for your son! I'm betting he's going to remember your honesty and apology in this situation - especially when it comes time for him to make a similar judgment call. Seeing us lie about the small things definitely feeds the rationalization when kids are tempted to lie about the bigger things.

I hate it when I do something that calls for an apology, but I'm always SO glad I've said I'm sorry after I get over my pride - especially with my children and husband.

Jennifer said...

That is a terrible rule. Since when did parents quit being able to make decisions for their children?

Mindy Skains Barefoot Book Ambassador said...

A Lie is a LIE.... UNLESS ITS FOR A GOOD CAUSE. =)..
Just had to throw that in.

I feel for you. I understand your logic and reasoning. This is another reason we homeschool. No guilt about missing a day.

The Eclectic Dabbler said...

What a great chance for your children to see that you too make mistakes, but you want to make it right! What an example for them. (NO parent is "perfect"! They might as well figure it out now!LOL!)
My kids are soo much younger, but I already talk with my kids about my failings to help them learn: 'Remember when mommy got angry with you [or did whatever]? That wasn't right. I'm sorry. I want you to learn that's not right to be angry but I was a bad example.'
I really believe that long-term those moments will make a huge difference in the relationship you have with your kids. Instead of either justifying/denying that it's wrong. Kids KNOW. They just KNOW. :-/
You're a GREAT mom!!!! Keep it up!!

Anonymous said...

As one of your regular readers who loves you to pieces, can I please call you on something? I totally agree w/ all that's been said, but I keep having the nagging feeling that to complete the picture, you really need to call the school to fess up and then take the consequences whatever they may be. Your bravery in doing so could be the thing that makes the school reevaluate their policy. (probably not, but a girl can hope, right??) And even if they don't YOU'LL be a great example to the school and your kids.

I do admire what you've done so far and I hope you don't think I'm overstepping, but please consider coming clean with the school, too.

love,
a faithful reader

Melissa Stover said...

i think it's a dumb rule too but you did the right thing for your son.

Thena said...

The comments were wonderful until the one by a faithful reader. If you feel led to call the school that's between you and God. Othewise I think you set a great example to your son. You did above those that believe do as I say, not as I do.

GeekMommy said...

This is a lovely story.

I found out early on that my daughter was completely incapable of perpetuating a lie I had told that was similar. When taking her in to preschool after a Friday of playing "hooky" and just enjoying each other's company & the sunshine, when asked if everything was alright by the teacher upon our return I panicked and said "we were just a little under the weather."

My daughter piped right up and said "Mommy! That's not true! You said we were playing hooky! What does that mean, hooky? And the weather was really nice!"

Chagrined, I apologized directly to the teacher saying "lesson learned from the 4 year old - tell the truth! I decided to keep her out of school on Friday."
Her then preschool teacher excused it with something like "that's alright, we all need a day off every once in awhile!"

But then part of the reason I chose to put my daughter in private school rather than public was the ridiculous application of rules like that. I have no need to lie to her teachers. I can be totally honest and say "we're going to be gone on such-and-such a day, anything I should be aware of in advance?"

Someone above mentioned a principal saying something to the effect of "requiring them to be there so they learn." Not all of the lessons that we need to succeed in life are taught in the classroom. Perhaps the second best lesson from your story is that 'blanket rules' that have no exceptions are prone to engendering deception rather than compliance.

I love your honesty with your son. I do not believe as the previous commenter said that it is necessary for you to call the school. They would only choose to penalize your children for something that was not their choice, but yours.

christinnjon said...

I didn't read all the comments so I may be repeating what dozens of other people have already said, but good for you. Good for you for coming clean and repenting to your child because THAT is what he will remember. He will remember that his mommy makes mistakes but owns up to them and cares enough about him and his feelings (or position) to be honest, even when it's hard. God will honor you and I PRAY He does. :) You are pleasing to Him Kristen.
I tweet you a lot as @followmyjourney - in case that helps you identify me better. :) Hugs!

Team Pipkin said...

oh my! well i have been a parent for 17yrs now and there have been times that my kids have played hooky when family has come up to visit. i also told the school they were sick and they went along with the story. its a stupid rule schools have. i found out that if i schedule my son an appt w/doctor (and the only time they have available is morning) and take him to school after that he will still be marked tardy but get excused when he's sick. go figure that. i'm sure i'll probably get flack for my comment...i'm not "everyone's cup of tea"

Sherry said...

We are human and prone to sin. Praise God for your being a role model and saying that you messed up. It is so hard to do that especially to our own children to say we messed up. I have that issue sometimes.

Lynn said...

Our school has a similar rule, however if we write a note 3 days before the absence then it is excused. I get it, and see the point. But I dont like it! Life happens! School administratiors are human, as are teachers. They will understand!

You did a great thing by sharing this with the blog community. I know I struggle daily between right and wrong! Right feels better. Wrong is usually more fun!

Lynn said...

Our school has a similar rule, however if we write a note 3 days before the absence then it is excused. I get it, and see the point. But I dont like it! Life happens! School administratiors are human, as are teachers. They will understand!

You did a great thing by sharing this with the blog community. I know I struggle daily between right and wrong! Right feels better. Wrong is usually more fun!

Donna @ Way More Homemade said...

I've looked back and followed the events of today on Twitter. You did the right thing in "coming clean" and bringing the light to what happened. What a wonderful teaching and learning opportunity you've had with your children. Sometimes all we need is a little nudge from a faithful friend who will speak the truth in love to us by the prompting of the Holy Spirit to get us to follow through with doing the right thing. What a wonderful example this was. THank you for your honesty. :)

Donna

Lisa Curcio said...

I kept my son home from school last week so that him and his older brother could go with their grandmother to visit their great grandfather.

I was going to send him to school and take him out early so that he was not penalized and then just leave the reason for leaving blank, as I have noticed that many people do.

Well, my 17 month old, my Heart baby, was VERY sick last week and I was up all night for several nights, husband was out of town, me alone with 5 kids, one who was very sick.

Anywho, I overslept, which was actually a quick nap of passing out, slept through my alarm and when I woke up it was already after the first bell. The whole house was fast asleep, I woke every one up and started racing around. After 5 minutes I knew I would never be able to get him there close to on time so I gave up on the whole thing.

I have not been able to bring myself to even write a note to the school yet. I don't want to teach my son to lie to his teachers. So I have let it go while I figure it out.

I feel the same way that you do, they need to know their great grandfather, and time is precious at this point in his life. I think that it is important for children to know where they came from, and to give them memories of the people that helped to shape us.

Di said...

Lisa, just be honest. I think as a parent it's your prerogative to have your child spend their time as you see fit.

It's an old adage, but a good one..."honesty is the best policy".

Di said...

Kristen, What an awesome example you've been to your children and to all of your blog readers! Thanks for sharing.

God bless.

Audrey said...

I'm very glad that my school does not have this policy. Last year I pulled my son out to make a trip to visit his uncle who was in from Germany. I did call the school and told them he was not going to be there for a family trip.

Upstatemomof3 said...

I just wanted to say that I understand every decision you made. And probably would have done the same thing - but I will think about it more next time.

Hilary said...

Our district has this policy, but not until High school... and I get it, I really do. But it MAKES parents lie. They HAVE to come-up with a way to make it so kids can still have a bit of what the parents deem necessary family time, while still not having to lie.
I should write the school board. Seems like 1 or 2 days with previous written excuse might be worthwhile.
I read all your answers hoping someone had the solution.

Alexia said...

Rest assured that our kids learn more from us making mistakes and then admitting them than being 100% perfect all the time. They learn about the grace of God and the fact that we are all human and it's okay to mess up.

christa elyce said...

i'm so glad you fixed it out with your son. you're a great parent for admiting your solitude mistake.

www.jemappelles-christa.com

Tara said...

You are so right that it is hard to be the model. But character in our kids starts with character in us. It's so easy to try to nurture something in our kids when we don't even realize we need to grow in an area too! Great growth in this! Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across your blog and read this entry. I understand your actions. However, I'm a little bit confused as to what you've forgiven yourself for. Whether it is for putting your son in that awkward position solely (for which you confessed and apologized to him) or for lying to the school or both?

I definitely am not judging you either way, but the ending left me confused. Did you end up fessing up to the school/teacher as well and taking the consequences of the 70% grade? Or did you simply apologize to your child but not correct the lie with the school (and thus, still benefit from the lie - as was its original intention)? And if the latter, how do you justify that to yourself or explain it to your child (after saying what you did was wrong, but not actually correcting it when you could)?

I think this is what 'a faithful reader' was alluding to above. I sound far more judgmental here, but that's not my intention. I'm actually in a similar situation and was wondering how forgiveness comes about - whether it has to be complete from all parties - and what's the best way to address things like this (in which obviously your child is your #1 priority).

Thanks,
A random reader.

Tina said...

I would argue that if you had excused your children from school to spend time with visiting elderly grandparetns..that is an "excused absent". As a parent, you chose to excuse them for the day, regardless of the reason.