Monday

Sometimes, I Don't Even Have to Try


The glass isn't half empty.

Or half full.

It's somewhere right in the middle.

And that's how God made me. I'm not overly positive or strongly negative. I'm somewhere in the middle. I like to call it realism.

So, I'll be the first to tell you that I don't automatically laugh at some of the things that come my way. I also don't run to the nearest bridge and heave a leg over.

I deal with it and the laughter comes later.

Usually.

And then there are days that are made up of moments that form one hilarious calamity. And I can't help it. I don't process these days or over think them. 

I just laugh.

Case in point: A constipated toddler. There is nothing funny about this, unless you are at someone else's house. And of course, the point of reckoning happens in their bathroom and the explicit step-by-step vocabulary of the 2 yo can be heard throughout the house.  There were tears and yelling and clapping (and my toddler even said a word or two). 

But, please, let your imagination wander. It can't come close to the actual experience. 

Or my red face.

The same day my son returned from school with his class pictures. You know, the ones I forgot they were taking! When I saw the photograph, I hoped against hope, he had ART before the picture (note the black marker? paint? dirt? on his hands). I spent the rest of the afternoon wracking my brain trying to recall if he actually had a bath the night before.


Or my personal favorite: My child lost a tooth right before bed. I didn't have a red cent to my name.  And so, I borrowed money from the Girl Scout Cookie collection envelope.  

And then I had to explain to my little Brownie why I'm wasn't actually a thief, when she caught me red-handed.

P.S. The toddler has worked out her issues. Literally.
P.S.S. I didn't buy the pictures. Because.
P.S.S.S. I returned the money. Did you doubt me?

I decided to link up the un-scrappable photo to Sincerely 'Fro Me to You! Join the fun.

52 comments:

Bonnie said...

This is such a funny post. So true to life and so real! Love it!

Muthering Heights said...

I wouldn't have noticed his hands if you hadn't mentioned them....I think his picture came out very well!

Oma aka Meme said...

thanks for the laughs re a glass- daddy always said that it depended what was in the glass the formed his opinions- chuckel
have a wonder week
hugs from Meme

Amanda said...

Im laughing at his pic because mine came home with hers and she had left over sticker residue on her hand- so Im thinking she didnt take a bath the night before!

natasha said...

oh i know you so well...i AM you! thanks for sharing :)

Amber said...

There's no better way to survive parenthood than with laughter!

Tammy said...

Yes, I like to drink from the cup of realism myself....it's not really half-full or half-empty either.

Your kids crack me up.

Susan said...

Why does that sound like my house? So glad I am not the only one! Thanks!

Amy said...

The toothfairy hardly ever has cash on hand in our house... usually the only thing in her wallet is plastic. This makes things VERY interesting when the tooth pops out right before bedtime, and Daddy Toothfairy is out of town on business!

Amy ~ The SaltyMomma

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

yep, I am there with you...quite often, I don't even have to try either. :0

PJs Til Noon said...

I am continually unprepared for picture day. Then this year I did good and bought the pics, only to find the check for my daughter's in her room 3 months later.
Our tooth fairy "forgets" and has had to postpone many a tooth pickup.
And....here we go....
Yes, I'm telling it.
My husband pooped on the kitchen floor. A virus was involved. And after that, bleach. LOTS & LOTS of bleach.
You're not alone.
~Jen

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

To funny! What a cute post filled with real life stories. I happen to think the picture of your boy is absolutely adorable...black marker and all.

PJs Til Noon said...

I am continually unprepared for picture day. Then this year I did good and bought the pics, only to find the check for my daughter's in her room 3 months later.
Our tooth fairy "forgets" and has had to postpone many a tooth pickup.
And....here we go....
Yes, I'm telling it.
My husband pooped on the kitchen floor. A virus was involved. And after that, bleach. LOTS & LOTS of bleach.
You're not alone.
~Jen

PJs Til Noon said...

sorry for the double comment, computer being very fickle...

Bridget said...

Love the marker on the hands! Somewhere in my parents' albums is a school picture of me, a close-up, with a wad of chewing gum between my teeth! :) How? Why? Who knows?!?

Robin said...

I can relate to all three, but only you would have all three on the same day!

As for the pictures, you did the right thing. Who needs to pay too much for a less than great picture when you can do better yourself for free!

Dorci Harris said...

Reminds me of the time my son was sick and we had to run into a Circle K to quickly grab something for him. Well, seems his stomach couldn't wait, and he puked all over the mat at the front door. Or the time my other son peed in the bed - at someone else's house.

Aahhh, those were the days.

nutmeg said...

Yep, my son came home from school a couple of weeks ago with his shirt on inside-out. Which was only mildly annoying except for the fact that he had worn it that way all day. And it was picture day. And NO ONE--not my husband, who got the kids ready for school that morning, not his teacher, whom I love dearly, nor even the photographer--noticed. I, of course realized the moment he got home & I saw the tag sticking out proudly in the back. Guess we will be doing re-takes this year.

Tina said...

Thanks for my Monday morning laugh - that was a good one!

I think the picture is adorable - it's part of life, that marker and dirt! I have 15 month portraits of my now 6 year old that show his red, swollen, tear stained face - he didn't want to get his pictures taken. He threw one little smile out and the girl caught it! I'll always remember that :)

Sandy Toes said...

How funny and cute....it's bad when you have to use the Girl Scout money...hee hee
sandy toe

Hi! It's me, Jen. said...

Um...I think you might be me....seriously...are you me?

~*Michelle*~ said...

Funny stuff.

I always wondering how these photography companies stay in business...I don't think I ever bought ONE set of prints from them. A huge chunk of hair plastered to my sons forehead is not very flattering.....nor was the left over peanut butter crusted on his cheek.
thankyouverymuch.

and thanks for making me feel better when you didn't have a red cent to your name at times.

Happy Monday~
*~Michelle~*

Autumn said...

In our house, the Tooth Fairy has actually borrowed money from the person who lost the tooth! (Later replaced!)
And I think I borrowed money from the "Thank-you for being our coach" collection envelope to buy MORE Girl Scout cookies...
Thanks for the laughs!!
Love checking in on your blog!

Stephanie said...

My kids are always coming home from school with stuff...marker...dirt...paint...
whatever on their hands...face...shirt...whatever. I guess I'm wierd b/c I like the odd pictures with something wrong. I just reminds me of my life at that time.

And just for the record: The tooth fairy forgot 2 teeth in a row with one of my kids. She came to me when getting ready to put the 3rd tooth under her pillow and said, "now mom, don't forget this time." Nice. And at our house when the tooth fairy is "on vacation" she pays double the next night. We only give 50 cents so we can afford it, but the extra money is not appreciated like remembering is.

Amanda said...

Since, teeth have their own little minds about when they're coming out, and I almost never have cash on hand, I decided to stash a couple extra bucks in an extra pocket of my wallet for just in case.

I actually had to use it last time. Boy was I glad I'd stuck that extra aside.

Kara said...

We have similar experiences at my house on a regular basis. I don't think I've purchased a school picture for any of my boys for the last three years. They've all been REALLY bad!!

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

OK---I like the pictures. It brings an element of artsy to a very standard, dry pose that is part of all school photography. Constipated Toddlers...oh that is something...

Upstatemomof3 said...

Okay this may just be my favorite post ever. I am rolling on the floor laughing. And as for that school picture he may have paint on his hand but that picture is WAY nicer than the ones they used to take when I was in school. Have a great day!!

It's a Vivas Thing said...

Way funny! In our house, it is well known that sometimes the tooth fairy is just really busy and it may take an extra day for her to get there!

Amber@theRunaMuck said...

The more shameless (real) you get in your story-telling, the more I love you. Write on, sister, as only you can.

common mom said...

HA! I love it! I let my kids wear pretty much whatever they want for picture day . . . the whole point of school photos is to get a snapshot of them at that particular point in time, messy hair, dirty hands, camo, and all ;-) And I wouldn't have noticed his hands, either! But I think it's a great photo. I never buy them - I have so many pictures of my kids already.

And the Tooth Fairy has borrowed money at our house as well - once, she even borrowed from the very wallet of the kid who had lost said tooth!

The Wades said...

Ahh, I think that picture is adorable of him! The marks on his hand adds to the charm. Cute stuff.

Runningamuck said...

LOVE IT! Been there sooo many times... more times than I care to think about. =0)

Runningamuck said...

LOVE IT! Been there sooo many times... more times than I care to think about. =0)

Sarah said...

Very fun post! Very real!!!

Gennaro said...

That's a great, great story. The things moms will do :)

Sally's World said...

Lovely post, really love the blog in general, its so real. i don't think we have a school photo yet where something isn't stained, marked, missing...but thats what makes the photos so real, if they were perfect little prisitine kids on the photos, i probably wouldn't recognise them lol!

Mom of Many Messes said...

The cookie $ reminds me of when I tried to explain to my son that I would write a check for the cash I was using from his baseball fundraiser...I'm not sure he ever really understood!

Laurel @ Ducks in a Row said...

So true, so true. My daughter caught me dipping into her allowance once!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I didn't realize so many Moms managed to forget when picture day is!!! I cringe when I recall the day I was in the drop-off line at school and wondering why all the kids looked sooo spiffy, some boys even had ties on (this was in KY, if it matters), and my son had dressed himself in his favorite sleeveless blue and orange muscle shirt....sigh

momstheword said...

Oh yes....picture day. When my kids were little my then-seven year old took permanent markers and drew a mustache and beard on the face of my then-three year old.....the day before we were having our family portrait taken.

Glamour Girl said...

Oh that is good stuff! And did you ever think you would talk more about poop in your entire life until you had children! Sigh.

Angieshell1 said...

I always buy every picture day picture... no retakes here. My kids have bad hair and dorky smiles every day of their lives, what better way to capture it than school photos? Plus it just makes me smile to look at those photos. ;)

Gillie said...

First time commenter...I follow you on Twitter (http://twitter.com/ekgillen) and read your blog!

I have all kinds of crappy school pictures because I can't stand to send them back. I wonder what they do with the pictures no one buys and can't imagine them just throwing away a pic of my boy. :)
xx
Gillie
http://gillietime.blogspot.com/

sweetfunkyvintage said...

Oh, so funny!

My daughter caught me borrowing money from her piggy bank to pay for her piano lesson because I forgot to run by the ATM!
missy

sweetfunkyvintage said...

Oh, so funny!

My daughter caught me borrowing money from her piggy bank to pay for her piano lesson because I forgot to run by the ATM!
missy

littletoesandcheerios said...

Realism...me too. I was looking at the picture and thinking, now what's wrong with this? 'Till I read the marker part and saw his hand...LOL! So glad you joined us!!

Thanks, the cookies were great!

littletoesandcheerios said...

Realism...me too. I was looking at the picture and thinking, now what's wrong with this? 'Till I read the marker part and saw his hand...LOL! So glad you joined us!!

Thanks, the cookies were great!

The Glamorous Life said...

Oh it is the reality of motherhood that always makes me smile. I actually enjoy moments like these...it reminds me too well that I am living a REAL life and not just playing a 'mom' on TV.

Ugh. The dreaded school photo. I think I have marker or dirt or in one case GUM on every Tshirt in every photo of my children.

Yeah- we don't buy them either!

Thanks for coming to the FRO. And supporting it still....I love it like my own!

Valarie Lea said...

Yep I love it when I forget about picture day, and Logan's hair needed a haircut badly, I think they had corndogs for lunch and he had mustard on his pants. Yep those are some great pictures.

Aunt LoLo said...

My mother once dipped into my piggy bank, without telling me, when she was short a few dollars. She had every intention of paying me back, but with four kids at home under the age of 8...she hadn't had time to go to the bank. She told me about the "loan" after school. I told her it was ok that she "borrowed" money from her 7 year old. I then asked her which bank she had taken it from. When she told me it was the little purple one, I informed her that it was my Tithing bank (the one with my offerings for church that Sunday). Her face turned Red and she said, "Oh, this just went from bad to worse!" She repaid me within moments of walking in the front door. HAHAHAHA

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