Friday

How Blogging has Given Me More Confidence

I've never thought of myself as having a lack of confidence.

Or low self esteem.

Until I started blogging.

And went through the awkward first months of sharing my thoughts and ideas and hoping I'd have a comment or some validation from perfect strangers {smile}.

It didn't take me long to discover that I like this world where no one really sees me or dislikes what I'm wearing or judges me based on my appearance. There are no preconceived ideas because of the neighborhood I live in or the label on my clothes. 

I am comfortable in this parallel world because it is not based on appearance, house-size, position on the PTA or athletic ability.

And my comfort here has increased my confidence there.

Blogging has made me more confident in the real world.

It's not about the way I look

Did you know that over 50% of women do not like the way they look? Demands of society have placed too much emphasis on our outward appearance. I've gotten to know women in this cyber world where vanity isn't the ruler we measure by. I read words written by beautiful women whom I've never seen. When I bare my soul and read your touching comments, I feel beautiful (even if I'm lounging in sweatpants) and it has nothing to do with the way I look.

I have a voice

Blogging has given me a platform, a voice, a place to share my thoughts and feelings. I weigh in on issues I normally would leave alone. I research, read and educate myself more.  Sometimes in my real life, my screaming voice is like a whisper. It's lost in the roar of the noise around me. But I know I have a place to share my struggles, my questions and my resolve. And I feel heard.

I am bold

In the real world, I am quiet. I am not shy, but I am not vocal either. But I can say whatever I want on my blog. Because it's mine. If it's too personal, too private, too much of me, than the reader can choose to stay or go. I can be outlandish and quirky.  I can find the extrovert inside of this introvert. This has effected my real life assertiveness. I find myself becoming more and more the bold woman you think I am.

I have a secret

Sometimes, especially in awkward situations when I'm uncomfortable, I find comfort in knowing that I have a secret corner of the internet. It's like a home-away-from-home. I think it would surprise some of the people who think they know me. But I don't tell everyone because I like saving it for people who really get to know me.

I am supposed to be doing this

Becoming a mother 9 years ago was the most amazing moment of my life. It left me fulfilled and isolated. I quit my job, transferred my energy to my home and tried to make the new little person happy. I got lost in motherhood and it took me awhile to sort out my identity. I longed for friendships and a community. Motherhood matured me, but nothing has completed me like writing.  I was created to write. I am confident that I am supposed to be doing this

I know who I am

Before I started blogging, I thought I knew me. And as a Christian woman, I know who I am in Christ. But I have learned that this journey has led to a greater discovery of me. Writing my thoughts about my children, my fears, my joy has solidified who I am. I've formulated opinions, dealt with deep struggles and stood my ground on issues of the heart. I know who I am.  And I'm learning to really like her.

I know who I want to be

More than ever before, I am confident in who I want to become. I have met amazing women and been inspired in the blogworld. I have learned so much and I have goals for myself and dreams that wouldn't have been birthed without being in this community.

I am being stretched and challenged. I feel creative and alive at my keypad. I am a better me. 

Because of you.

Blogging has given me more confidence {even if no one leaves a comment on this post!}

How about you? Has blogging changed you? Enhanced you?

Food for the Soul:
Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. ...

Blogging is helping me see the real beauty. Visit The Inspired Room to read about more beautiful lives and Hooked on Houses to see what's important to people.

58 comments:

Kristin said...

I just came across your blog and I love it. I was searching for DIY decorating tips and have been having so much fun looking at all of your projects. I found that we have something in common. My name is Kristin also, and I think we must live close to each other because I was reading about your Hurrican Ike evacuation. I live in Baytown. Nice to "meet" you. I've just gotten into blogging and I love it too. It's been like therapy to me.

Amber said...

Wow, actually EVERYTHING that you said fits how I feel to a T. I honestly could not have said that better. This is how I've been feeling since I *really* started blogging just a few months ago. And how I feel as a woman, how I've gotten comfortable and found my contentment in motherhood, etched out an identity for myself.Thank you for taking the words out of my brain!

Lori said...

Your post is just awesome - I felt like you read my mind. Sometimes blogging makes me feel like a dork because my feelings are so exposed. And I'm the one putting them out there! I still spend way too much time worrying about what people think of me, but it's getting better because I feel accepted in the blogging world. I love the community of other women and moms who take the time to get to know one another and encourage each other. I love your blog - keep up the good work!

misty said...

your words are so very, very true. i could not have written it any better. blogging is making me into a better person! i never would have thought that starting just a short 6 months ago but i write & meet & have formed friendships that are making me stronger.

MommyAmy said...

What a great post!

My New Year's resolution is to post in my blog every day. So far I've been successful at it.

And I've discovered something. It's allowed me to talk about things that I care about, and given me a chance to figure out what those things are again. Because after having twins 19 months ago I've kind of forgotten who I am, and I'm hoping that writing in my blog I'll rediscover myself, and hopefully become a better wife & mother as a result.

I could have written a lot of what you just said! Thank you for voicing it so beautifully!

coco said...

What a great post...you have really hit the nail on the head about all the benefits blogging has brought me as well.

Kim @ Forever Wherever said...

I'm new to blogging, but I can really see why people have been talking about it for so long! I enjoyed reading your post, and thank for really sharing your thoughts.
-Kim

Marianne Thomas said...

Hey Kristin -- I haven't commented for a while, but I was just tweeting about the intersection of blogging and real life tonight (and how you navigate that place).

It's true (sadly) that we women are so wired to compete with each other based on appearance. I do love how that doesn't matter in the blogosphere.

Words matter.

Lovely new design, btw!

honeysuckle said...

Your words are so elequent. As a new blogger (just one month) I have those feelings of "is anyone going to read my words?" etc. I look forward to being in the place you are now. Isn't it nice to have a way to make new friends!

RefreshMom said...

Great observations on blogging! I concur.

I think there are two main things that I find most valuable about blogging. 1) It has given me a voice again. I was a "real" writer once upon a time (with books published by houses people have actually heard of). Life got in the way for a long time and I set it aside. Blogging gives me the opportunity to get some of those ideas out without book proposals and pub committees and marketing plans...or the biggie--a "platform." I love the immediate feedback and the interaction with readers that you just don't get when someone buys a book and takes it home.

2) (And really most significant for me) is that blogging makes me more aware of the little things in life--the moments with my kids that I don't want to forget and the moments where God shows up in the midst of something completely ordinary. Being intentionally aware of His presence definitely is making me into a better person.

Larger Family Life said...

Truer words never spoken.

We're all glad you write too.

Tania

JanMary said...

You have said it so much better than I ever could.

Thanks :)

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

What you said.

I agree with this post completely!

Alyssa said...

What a great post! I have only been blogging for a couple of months & wonder if anyone reads it! Thanks for the encouragement!!!

kymber said...

I found myself nodding my head over everything that you said here. I have gained so much in the short amount of time that I have been blogging. I learn everyday from the creative and supportive people in the blogging community. Those who have never blogged or who have never READ blogs, have a hard time understanding the fun of it - but I for one am so happy that I have this new creative outlet in my life. I couldn't have said it better myself - thanks for sharing what we ALL as bloggers feel!
Blessings to you,
Kymber

Shara said...

I'm so glad you have this place on the web, because it's one of my favorite spots to stop by every day. Thank you for sharing *you* with us.

Sarah said...

Well said...I think that's why blogging is so popular...love how you put it all!

Jeni said...

What a great post! I think I agree with just about all of it, but I wouldn't have been able to say it so eloquently.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Beautiful post! I never imagined all the opportunities for growth that would come through putting our thoughts on a screen! It is something that God can really use for good in our lives and in the lives of those around us!

blessings,
Melissa

Kasey Hunt said...

Couldn't agree with you more. I feel the same way. I look forward to the next morning where I can get an update on my new friends in the blog world. It has been such a blessing in my life. Writing is an outlet for me too.

Anonymous said...

Hello from a fellow Ike survivor who is an hour from Galveston as well! (We only had a fence blow over and very minor house damage). I just came upon your blog a week or two ago. I just stumbled on in.

Wow. All I can say is wow. I haven't started a blog yet. I have been thinking about it a lot, though. I have enjoyed reading blogs so much and have just recently gotten to the 'actually posting a comment' phase.

Thanks for being so open and honest and for the encouragement that might actually help me to take the plunge into my own blog.

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

ditto.

Oh, you were expecting more.

I think about my world more now. (everything is a potential blog post. . .just kidding, kinda.)

My life has more fulfillment now. That sounds cheesy, but it's hard to stay motivated and, I guess, faithful sometimes. This gives me people to communicate with that have helped me grow in my relationship with Christ, whereas I haven't been able to do that as well in our small church.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Great post!

My husband and I blog together. Just the other day we were discussing how it is fun to be doing this together. It is personal and private, yet public and social. We love it and are making friends in just the world you have described!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Bonnie said...

Oh my gosh, this is amazing. You have captured every aspect of why I love blogging so much. Thank you I am adding you to my reader immediately!

I also feel I was born to do this! It is my true social comfort zone and yet it stretches me at the same time. I love blogging!

Nessa said...

Great post! I truly love your blog!

I was studying that verse just this morning! I believe that God had a big hand in leading me to blogging. We lived in the middle of nowhere and I literally had no friends. Blogs gave me an outlet to contact other mothers and wives, so I had a community and was no longer alone. I've been having real struggles with my walk with God lately, and it's bloggy friends who've rhelped get me back on track, reading certain blogs that were doing a devotion that was exactly right for me. I feel blessed to have found blogging.

Bubba's Sis said...

I couldn't agree more - this is just how I feel, too! Some of my RL friends (Real Life) think it's silly, but blogging has really been such a great thing for me!

World's Greatest Mommy said...

Well said!

I echo your sentiments. Blogging has allowed me to be so much more bold and those comments...they make me feel beautiful too.

Blogging has also made me feel supported in the things I do in my life. I find people who are like-minded. People who are trying to do the same things I'm trying to do. It gives me comfort to see so many moms out there trying to give their best to their kids. I think, "I can do this." We're all in it together.

Cassondra said...

I love your blog. I love this post!! I started a blog several months ago, but I have not posted on it in months because I felt like maybe I was wasting my time. I felt that no one was reading it, etc. You are inspiring to me. THANK YOU!!!!

Miss Sandy said...

I can only say AMEN! You have articulated my thoughts so eloquently! I share your secret, not many people I actually know, friends, family, or church, even know I have a blog. Why? Hmmm, I need to examine that as to why I can be so open to strangers and not friends. Thanks for the food for thought. Have a wonderful weekend!

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

Wow, what a wonderful post! I not only enjoyed reading it, but clicking on the links to read past posts that I had missed the first time around.

I read that therapists are now suggesting to some of their patients to try blogging because they're finding it so therapeutic for people. It gives them an outlet to express themselves and helps them build a supportive community. I thought that was so interesting!

It's really hard to understand how wonderful the blogging community is until you're a part of it. There's nothing else like it!

Thanks for joining my blog party and sharing this with us! :-)

The Glamorous Life said...

Ditto. Ditto. And a big ol DITTO.

Pat Anderson said...

Wow - I just came across this thru your post on Twitter and I love what I've read. Just starting out in the blogging world, this gives me so much confidence. I can't wait to get to know you. You sound like a kindred spirit. I checked the 2 links you have of where your "homes" are and I'm looking forward to discovering more there as well. Thanks for being transparent!
Pat Anderson (PatinMB - on Twitter)

Dee said...

You just described everything that I've tried to explain to my husband about blogging.

Oh, and Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite verses. I have it printed and hanging on my wall at home.

Teresa said...

Beautifully said- I've met amazing women through blogging.
Thanks

mommy4life said...

I am still sinking my teeth into the blogging thing, but I wholeheartedly agree!!!!

Julie Stiles Mills said...

Great post! I agree with all you've said - but I also find that blogging does for me what journaling does. My very 1st post, "just journal, even if it's one sentence."

In a nutshell:
It slows me down and give me time to think. Reminds me of the past so I can learn from it. It captures memories. Helps me figure out my goals. And it's more convenient and less expensive than therapy!

Carolina Mama said...

How about that! We 'bloggers' all agree on our community for sure. Well said my friend.

Cara said...

I love blogging because I now have a great bunch of women friends from all over the country that I would not have known otherwise. It awesome!

JEWEL said...

Bravo! Well said. I feel so much of the same way about blogging. One learns the important things about others through blogging.

Kara said...

You wrote so eloquently the way I feel about blogging but have never quite had the words to express. Love it!!

I am Boymom said...

I feel the same way about blogging - here's what I wrote about how it has helped me and my family: http://iamboymom.blogspot.com/2008/12/some-serious-magic.html

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

I love this! I am loving blogging myself for many of the same reasons as you. I also like the sense of community with other moms and women - a wonderful supplement to my real life. And I have found so many things through blogging that make me want to strive to be a better person.

jean said...

What a great post! I am not a blogger (yet), but I am a writer. I haven't been writing for the past few years, and I'm SO out of practice! I think I need to start blogging to rediscover my writing skills - at which time I could probably echo a lot of the thoughts & feelings that you expressed in the post. Thanks for sharing your world/life/heart with us.

LuLu said...

So weird but this is what I wrote about this week as well. i have grown personally so much and my family is receiving the rewards of all my energy.
You said it so well.
LuLu

D... said...

Well said! I couldn't agree more. Never in a million years did I think I'd blog & get such satisfaction out of it OR meet such wonderful people.

Domestic Accident said...

How timely. What a beautiful post.

Sheryl said...

Kristen, I feel just the same as you, loving blogging for all the same reasons. Especially that no one here judges me by how I look, by where I live, by the car I drive, etc. I really feel I can be myself when I blog. I am an introvert, one who needs quiet space and time to think, but also is very interested in how others live. Not in the material sense. But just day-to-day. I've only been blogging a short while, and I can't believe how much it's already helped me!

Sheryl

Mama's Ramblings said...

It is such a blessing to come across a blog where the writter/owner is just truthful and honest. Not just with the people that are reading the blog, but with herself. This is a GREAT post. It is such a blessing to know that you are loved by people that "know" you, but have never actually "met" you. You are to almost 50 comments...WOW...SUCH A BLESSING TO BE LOVED!!

I really enjoy reading your blog, but I think one of my fav. things is to see what you are going to do to your blog next. I love how you "redecorate" it every now and then.

Alexia said...

I haven't been blogging for very long, but I think it's helped me to be alot more of...everything LOL I too like to have a place I can go to to say whatever is on my mind and I think being able to have that freedom has made me come into my own so to speak. I've found lately that I'm crawling out of my shell and living out loud who I've been all along. And maybe discovering some new things about me along the way!

Hi! It's me, Jen. said...

I'm so glad to have found you! You expressed my feelings exactly. I am new to this whole blogging thing and I am loving it. Thank-you for sharing!!

christinnjon said...

You know, I think I can relate to some of these. Great post and good for you sharing a piece of your heart here. :)

ms. less is always more said...

Awesome post... you are so right. Blogging is such a great outlet! One I don't know what I would do without!

It Feels Like Chaos said...

What a beautiful post! I have just begun blogging, but it is a whole 'nother wonderful world. I love learning new things from other women and also the comfort in reading about someone else going through or feeling something I am also living.

sandysmile said...

There seems to be a theme here. I just read and commented @ Lisa Writes http://lisa-writes.blogspot.com/2009/01/bloggers-block.html about being known in 2 separate communities, our real-life one and our blogging one. It's interesting to hear that others have the same feeling that I do. I enjoy your blog and your twitters!

Linda at Lime in the Coconut! said...

Beautiful! Love your voice...love your spirit...love your boldness!

Keep on keeping on!

Valarie Lea said...

I couldn't agree more. I never though blogging would help me as much as it has.

Amber @ ClassicHousewife said...

Wonderful post! I think my version would be: "How Blogging Has Helped Me to Stay SANE." =P

ed said...
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