They Will Let Anyone Be a Mother These Days

Thank you for allowing me to repost a few of my favorite posts from my Archives on my old Mac blog.  This was originally posted in March.

I was wandering down my daily blogroll when I came to this post by Heather J over in Jirkaville.  It was riveting.  

I was un-bathed.  Pajama-clad (actually I lost my pj bottoms somewhere along the way of rushing my older kids out the door) so, I was half-naked. My priorities were in order:  I was reading other people’s business before I took care of my own.

My one year old sat in my lap while I worked on my laptop at the kitchen counter.   My baby likes to dig thru the drawer while I blog away. 

As I intently read, I was moved to tears by Heather’s post .  My daughter started squirming, so I sat her on the floor.  She had a plastic thingy in her hand.  At least that’s what I thought it was.

4.5 seconds later, she started screaming.

I whipped around and IN-SLOW-MOTION-BECAUSE-I’M-A-SLOW-THINKER, I realized that the said plastic-thingy was SUPERGLUE.


With teethmarks.

I scooped her up and ran to the kitchen sink.

These words are FLASHING in my head:


My daughter’s hands were covered in Superglue AND her lips were glued closed.


Let me just pause and LET THAT SINK IN.

Baby.  Lips.  Glued.  FOR ETERNITY.  Jesus, help me.

I’m crying, she’s crying, I’m splashing water on both of us. Praying for help, begging for forgiveness. It did dawn on me in a surreal way, how perfectly still my child became.  She knew it was bad.  And I think she was hoping for another adult to arrive. 

The warm water and a little pressure helped part her crusty lips.  THANK GOD.

She didn’t ingest the glue and that seemed to be very good news.

I nearly passed out when I heard the key in the front door.

A host of heavenly angels ushered my dear hubby into the kitchen in search of something he'd forgotten.  He saw the superglue, our crusty, sticky hands and his baby’s lips and took over.

I googled, “Baby lips and super glue.” Which I’m sure helped Child Protective Services hone in on my whereabouts.

And I’m sure this was an internet first.

According to reliable resources, acetone is the enemy to superglue.  It’s the kryptonite to the Super mega adhesive.

Thank GOD, I paint my nails.

We dipped cotton into nail polish remover and scrubbed.  My one year old perfected her dirty look and my husband didn’t even ask how it happened.

Which now, I find disturbing.  He returns home to find his daughter’s life in mortal danger under my care and it doesn’t even surprise him.

We cleaned her up as much as possible.  


“I’ve got to get to work,” my husband said as he grabbed his jacket.

“What?  You can’t leave me.  I cannot be trusted.  It’s not even 8:30 a.m and I nearly wounded your baby,” I said as I grabbed his pant leg and held on for dear life.

He smiled at me.  And left.

I checked on that girl 432 times during her morning nap.  The entire time I couldn’t help to think about the wisdom of these words:  KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN.

And, all I have to say is they will let anyone be a mother these days.

Get ready for a fun giveaway on Monday! Hint: Take a picture of yourself in your apron because the Apron Queen is visiting THAT family! Really-get your pictures ready!


blessedwith5 said...

It never ceases to amaze me the "trouble" that little ones can get into!

I think it is a riot though that your hubs didn't question what happend at all!

Mrs. Querido said...

I LOVE this post! I'm glad everything worked out just fine. By the way, were the photos taken during the fiasco, or

And I so know the feeling of inadequacy somedays when it comes to be a mom... thanks for the reminder of Who is really in control of it all!

Kendrawolf said...

That's the sign of a true blogger addict. Something goes horribly wrong and they reach for their camera!

Jenn said...

Wow! How absolutely scary! I'm glad it all worked out okay.

Mom of TWO Princesses said...

I can't imagine the fear that was going through you at that moment! I'm glad it all worked out so well, though!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, sounds like my house. and my hubby would be like, so?

MoziEsmé said...

Oh - I can so see me doing this! Baby has poked holes in glue, but fortunately not superglue. And fortunately the glue so far has not been toxic.

And then the guilt feelings afterwards - I CAN SO see me going through that! Which I think shows you are perfectly ready to be a REAL mom!

Meritt said...

LOL... made for an entertaining post even if it was at the expense of a 1 year old with lips glued shut. LOL.

Thankfully superglue isn't made like it used to be! The quality is pure crap compared to the superglue of the 70's and 80's... WHEW!

Marni's Organized Mess said...

You brought tears to my eyes!

Marni's Organized Mess said...

You brought tears to my eyes!

Lisa J said...

Oh my heart just aches for you. Tears in my eyes as I feel you must have had such pain in your heart and soul that day. It was an accident, yet it does not make us feel any beter. These stupid computers may be the death of us yet huh? Looking back I am sure you probably laughed, but still your nerves of steel must have wilted a little that day. What a beautiful little girl and brave momma. Have a wonderful weekend.

Pregnantly Plump said...

I know that had to be so scary for you! It is amazing what kids can find and get into.

Domestic Spaz said...

Oh... this totally could have happened to me. Totally.

I'm working on a post to fit into your THAT Family Tree Society. Thanks for starting it. :)

Blondie said...

Oh NO! So totally something that would happen around here!

Please don't beat yourself up. I know an adult who once opened the lid of the superglue with her teeth and glued her molars together. It could be worse! She had a looooong day at the dentist that day.

wyndesnow said...

Oh thank you so much for sharing. That is something I have a fear of happening in our house. My boys never cease to amaze me the amount of trouble they can get into in such a short amount of time. We have pretty blue footprints on our black driveway. And my husband would have done the same thing.

Mandy said...

Oh my! I can feel the panic because I've been there - not with superglue, but other things! So glad it worked out! And I'll link to you in my next post that I've had stewing in my head for a week or 2! Perfect timing!

Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt said...

Oh my word. That would be scary! But, lest you think otherwise, I've had my fair share of poison-control calls.

D... said...

Gosh, you had to have been terrified. Thank God that host of angels brought your husband home. I happen to think, however, that you would have handled it just fine even if they hadn't helped you out. You were well on your way with the warm water.

The Fritz Facts said...

This was one of the first posts of yours that I read, and it still makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.

3boys247 said...

You discovered my secret for fixing everything! Nail polish remover works wonders on all sorts of things (like Windex from My big fat Greek Wedding). Keep it handy to get sharpie marker off hardwood floors and removing those obnoxious kid tattoos.

Tara said...

Oh. my. glory. What a story. I can't even imagine the horror. I'm glad that she's okay.

Luke said...

I absolutely love reading these stories! Your writing is fantastic, but the way you weave that into our human experience is just perfect.


Joy said...

Reminds me of the time Elaina shot her daddy's "Axe" body spray in her mouth and I had to call poison control... *SIGH* And I was STANDING RIGHT THERE!

Mandy said...'s the link to my post that I said about linking you to!

Sheena said...

Stories like these are always fun to look back on, lol! I'm going to have to keep my eyes super peeled! When I was a baby, I got a hold of a razor blade refill and put it in my mouth!

Lynn said...

"Which now, I find disturbing. He returns home to find his daughter’s life in mortal danger under my care and it doesn’t even surprise him."


Marcy - The Glamorous Life! said...

I don't know- but just to try and make you feel a little better here is a tale for you...

Once when I was a kid and acrylic nails and the new super glue were fairly new to the market. The bottle it came in was nearly identical to an eye drop bottle on the market (ooh I feel you cringe)...SOOOOOOO, my mother picked up the wrong bottle and put SUPER GLUE in her EYE. I was like 10 and my brother was 14. He did not have a drivers permit. So she screamed for him and said get my keys you have to drive me to the hospital. So off we went in our station wagon- and me in my bathing suit (I don't know why) and my brother DRIVING (which was freaky and illegal)...and all the while my mom holding her eye and crying. Turns out it wasn't all that bad. The doctor numbed her eye and (cringe here too) pulled the layer of super glue off her eye......

Feel better? Good that is what friends are for. To come up with a story as bad as yours to make you feel normal. you are welcome.

Melissa~ said...

That is a terrible and wonderful story that I can relate to in many embarrassing ways.

Your blog really makes me smile. Just wanted to let you know that. :)

♥ Melissa~
Pink Paper Peppermints

P.S. He loves you... said...

I relinked a past post also...but I don't think it's a "That" family tree tribute..I'm still holding out for one that tops your own!


I love the new school pix and your dd socks are totally cool with that dress! Sweet!

Domestic Spaz said...

Thanks for linking up. This was the exact post of yours I was actually thinking of. You're the best!

Anonymous said...

My son managed to drink saline solution, rubbing alcohol and Pepto. Thankfully not all in the same day. I only had to call Poison Control for the last two.

So far, mine is the only one to land her kid in the hospital. With real, live surgery. Maybe I'll get a hall of shame mention or something.

Anonymous said...

OMG! My daughter tried to drink spray-n-wash once and I thought that was bad. I would have totally freaked. So glad that she is okay.

Anonymous said...