Monday

NOT Meant To Be

I am good at a few things.


I excel at making and consuming sweet tea. In some cultures, I might be hailed as a Tea Queen.

I'm sure of this.

I'm a whiz at keeping huge stacks of laundry from falling over that have been balancing precariously on top of the dryer for days. And, I am good at straightening the fringe on my rugs. (This leans more towards obsessive compulsive tendencies and not a true talent, but I'm just saying).

I offer consulting on the above skills, if you need help, I'm your girl.

And that's about it. My list is short, but do not doubt I am most proficient in said items.

My list of things I'm not so good at grows considerably with each passing day. Seriously. I have a huge list entitled, "Things, I'm Not Meant To Be/Do."

The most recent addition to my list: I am not meant to be a thrower.

This has been a problem that has plagued me since early childhood. I cannot throw. Anything.

I would actually consider it a compliment for someone to say, "Hey- you throw like a girl!" I don't throw that good.

No. I throw like a moron. Really. And I know morons. Plenty of them.

As a kid, I had some pretty good softball skills. I could hit the ball far. I could catch it almost every time. But when it was time to throw the ball, well, let's just say two out of three counts in softball.

I think there's some nerve deformity associated with my aim. I clearly see what I need to do and yet when I release an object, it doesn't go according to plan. Exactly.

Now that I'm an adult, you wouldn't think this deficiency would effect my every day life. Oh, but it does, dear ones. It impacts my life, greatly.

My kids don't even bother asking me to play outdoor sports that involving throwing or tossing of any kind. This saddens me. But they are smart, they've been hit in the head one too many times.

The profound impact is in simple tasks. Just the other day, my hubby stood at the top of the stairs and asked me to toss him a towel for our son's bath.

Well.

My first attempt, the towel went over my head and landed behind me.

Surely, that is considered a sport, somewhere. If so, I'm highly gifted.

My second attempt, landed about 2 inches from me. I think my wrist cramped up.

As I readied for my third attempt, my hubby appeared at the bottom of the steps, laughing,

"Just forget it. He'll air dry by the time you get that towel to me."

And so, perhaps that's where part of my problem lies. There's not a lot of support for my throwing weakness.


43 comments:

Blessings From Above said...

Too funny. How did you manage to throw the towel behing you?!?!

I never though of balancing laundry on the dryer as a talent. But I like your thinking. Next time my hubby complains about the laundry that needs folded, I'll have to use that one. Love it.

Kelsey Smith said...

Im with you im terrible! As me to do anything but throw and im your girl!

Kelli said...

Might I suggest you stay far away from the bowling alleys?

Becoming Me said...

We are kindred spirits

Dawn said...

Too funny! I am happy to see they didn't remove your humor during your sugery!!!

Blessings!

twin power mommy said...

I don't throw well either. That is until my hubby told me to aim for the thing i was throwing at and now i get it pretty close to where i want it to go. (shrugging)

jennifer said...

Spastic Arms Unite! I can't throw and I am proud of it. Ladies aren't supposed to throw anyway, it might make us mist!

Jen

Domestic Accident said...

When you are a mom, the joy is in the catching, not the throwing. You've had it right all along!

cheryl said...

poor JA..let Dad work with him on his arm from now on! :)

Valarie said...

My Dad thinks its highly funny, that I coached a softball team to an undeafted season and a county championship and could not play softball myself. I would always tell my girls don't throw like me, that is the wrong way to do it. When I throw it goes straight in the ground. Thankfully my children get the athletic skills from there father. :)

Carol Van Rooy said...

I'm like that with power tools. I'm apt to cut my arm off before the job gets done.

Karen said...

So funny. I can identify with you in many ways. Have a great week.

Daily Mish Mash said...

Well at least you can do two out of the three. I'm pretty hopeless. I can't really do any of them. I'm such a girl!!

Storm said...

Funny.

I'm not good at any of the 3 out of 3. Lol.

Love your sense of humor, as always.

Mom of TWO Princesses said...

I love your sense of humor! (I can't throw either, lol)

THopgood said...

That's hilarious!

This is the reason I've had to give up bowling..if I wasn't throwing the ball behind me than I was throwing it two lanes over!

nottryingforaboy said...

Oh yeah, I'm about as coordinated as a flea. my poor girls are following my footsteps too.

Thank you for an entertaining start of the week.

Darla said...

OMG that is hysterical! I can't play sports to save my soul. When people say - oh but we just play for fun - they mean that until they see ME play - then they're like, yeah not THAT much fun. HA!

I'm a pretty good household thrower (meaning I can throw all things in a household related a fairly good distance, mad or otherwise. ;) ).

Janel said...

Oh, me too. I have big trouble with any kind of hand eye coordination. Tennis, throwing, golf. Not good.

Christie O. said...

haha! too funny!

i had a similar towel throwing fiasco when i was trying to smash a wasp that flew into the house and was flying around the skylight -- my mom told me to throw a balled-up wet towel at him which sounded like a great idea at the time.

a half hour later, i got him.

and i'm actually considered a "good thrower"! oh well!

Donna said...

aw yes, I can feel the love!

Faerie Mom said...

I am soooo uncoordinated. My nickname when I was a kid was Grace... because I had none. My daughter, unfortunately, has inherited this lack of skills from me.

You are funny!

Suzie said...

I think there should be a support group for that. I need one for making eggs just cant dont know why.

WorldsGreatestMommy said...

Oh, that's me. It would be an insult to girls everywhere to say I throw like a girl. Even my five year old was giving me tips.

WorldsGreatestMommy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rachel said...

How did it go behind your head? I am amazed, and laughing. (got here via Shauna's blog)

that girl said...

I understand... I have run and trip disease...

imadramamama said...

Oh my...the image of the towel landing behind you made me laugh out loud!

marky said...

LOL..I can't throw either! Altho I can throw a frisbee. go figure?

Happy Mommy said...

Girl I can balance laundry in a high back leather recliner and it can stay for days....
And I am so with you, I am not meant to be a thrower either!

Jamie said...

You threw it behind you?!?! That is too funny. Oh well at least you have some mad sweet tea making skills:)

Overwhelmed! said...

This made me laugh! :)

My brother was DETERMINED to teach me how to throw not like a girl, despite the fact that I am a girl. He made me practice throwing baseballs and footballs. When he tells me, "You have a pretty good arm for a girl" I take that as the highest praise possible! :)

Cathy/ Mommy Motivation said...

Ah. Thank you, Kristen. I laughed outloud! thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

Christine @ Serenity How? said...

You weren't throwing the towel, you were throwing IN the towel. Silly boys for not recognizing that LOL! :)

Hope you're feeling better.

(((HUGS)))

Marie said...

I am with you on the throwing thing. I can be right next to the hamper and still not manage to get the laundry into it.

Vintage Dutch Girl said...

You threw it BEHIND you? Wow. I call that talent :)

lori said...

I was about to leave a comment on the whole throwing thing...I was a fast pitch pitcher...so throwning was my thing...batting on the other hand...well....the I was DISTRACTED...

the pics are HYSTERICAL...we were doing the SAME thing the other day....neat to see yourself as a conehead!!

FEEL BETTER! it's great to see your sense of humor hasn't left you!!

You just feel better and drink yourself into "sweet tea" oblivion!!
hugs!!
lori

P.S. He loves you... said...

Ok so I don't recall commenting on a game room, but has my 9 yr old contacted you...he would love it!
Forget about him not have a real room yet!

Your first guess was correct..fridge.

It's didn't make an entrance yet though maybe the next, who knows?

Thanks for posting!

thediaperdiaries said...

An overrated talent. Keeping fringe straight...where would the world be without people that can do that?

Jessica said...

But at least your fringe is straight!

You need to get a dog--dog's don't care if you can throw or not. To your dog you'd be Kerry Wood! Definitely. A dog's your answer!

Bina said...

Ha Ha! I must admit, I am a darn good thrower, for a girl. Even my husband, who played baseball and football in college, is quite impressed. I kinda like impressing him.

Mycrazylife said...

BTW - I'm going right this minute to make me some sweet tea, just because you said I should. How's that for influence. Now if I become an addict, I'll know who to blame!

Ok, Where Was I? said...

Ok, behind you? YOu were not exaggerating. I totally laughed at your husband's comment. And as a sweet tea lover, I think that's a really great talent, so who cares about the throwing.