Friday

Lost


*Update*  Thank you so much for offering your opinions about this very touchy and difficult situation.  I have learned a lot about what you all have shared and you've given me much to think about.  The bottom line is we need to remember to pray for all involved.  That is the least we can do.  And that is a lot.  

http://www.metronews.ca/calgary/world/article/36750

I don't normally talk about current events, politics, Hollywood. . .

Normally.

But I have such a heavy heart today. I thought I'd share my burden and you can share your thoughts.

What do ya'll think about the polygamy group in Texas, more specifically, how it is being handled by the state? I'm all against cults, multiples marriage partners, you know, weird stuff.

I was reading the latest issue of People's magazine, that's how I stay informed, my friends, and the article on the polygamist compound broke my heart. The kids have been separated from their moms- One shelter for 100 people with two bathrooms, no change of clothes, some children have contracted chicken pox. Without their moms. Since most of these mothers were married as young girls to older men with multiple wives, aren't they the victims too? These ladies don't have many choices from what I have read.

I'm all about removing kids from abusive environments. I'm not exactly a fan of polygamy either. But couldn't they have kept the moms with the kids while they try to sort out this mess?
It's a terrible situation and there aren't easy answers. The article quotes one child who woke up one night distraught, looking for his mother, scared. And I couldn't help but think of my own five year old son.

Lost.

And that stayed with me. All night.

Tell me what you think.

Matthew 19:13
[
The Little Children and Jesus ]" Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them."

33 comments:

Lilypad Mom said...

I have to admit that I have been avoiding the news this week. The big news story happening here has me too worried and stressed out, so I've just avoided the news all together.

But I can't imagine being separated from my child like that, and it breaks my heart to think of what the children are feeling being separated from their mothers.

Jules said...

I agree with you. I'm not for multiple wives for one man. But it seems to me that the ones that are really in danger at this moment are the children.
I would HATE for my kids to be taken away from me in this manner. The kiddies must be suffering terribly! It makes me so very sad just thinking about it.

Kisha said...

I don't understand why the kids have been seperated. Yes I understand that they need to figure out who is whose child, etc but these kids have been taken from their homes to a new situation and are scared. Even if the mothers can't be in the same room as the kids they need to be close, down the hall, in the next room, something. Those poor people.

Anonymous said...

That's awful. We treat our refugees better than that (only slightly, though).

Those poor innocent little angels.

Beatriz Macias said...

I have just finished "Escaped" a book by a woman who left this same sect with her 8 children. She is a smart woman, that had a chance to get an education in the outside world, and who finally had the strength to leave. She writes in her book about being "brainwashed" and not being able to think outside the rules of her people. I know that I am glad that it finally has come out to the attention of a broader public, and I know there is change needed... I also know that those kids would be better off having contact with their mothers, and having someone they can trust near. What a difficult situation.

Liza on Maui said...

I basically agree with everything you said (and yes, I got my info from People Magazine too :).

It's a sad thing and there's no easy answer. Or there could be an easy answer but the implementation would be hard...

(sigh) (Thanks for posting this. It reminded me to say a prayer for them).

marky said...

I have thought long and hard about this situation. I do agree with what you have said. I also have a problem with the gov't deciding what will be best for all involved.
those people have NO idea what life is like outside of those compound walls. It will be traumatizing to say the least for the young mothers and the children. The children are of course the innocent victims and seem to be getting the worst of the deal. The gov't yanked the families from their homes and didn't finish the deal. The mother's should never have been seperated from the children. It is so painful to watch.

Lydia said...

I don't understand really why they ARE separating the moms from kids. The mothers haven't been abusing the kids have they? And I sincerely doubt that the mothers themselves ever had much choice in their own lifestyles. What the govt NEEDS to do is provide a way out for the mothers and a way for them to live a normal, happy life WITH THEIR CHILDREN. AND THEN! ...and then what the CHURCH needs to do is get involved and do EVERYTHING possible to LOVE these women and kids and help them. Share the gospel with them. Nothing in the universe will change a life like JESUS CHRIST.

Happywife84 said...

It has bothered me tremendously that thye have seperated the moms & the children. I'm sure the state sees the mom as part of the problem but I'm not sure they are! And even if they are, shouldnt the children's needs been put 1st? Keep the moms with the children & observe...THEN if the moms are neglectful, etc, THEN seperate them!

An extended family member had their children taken away. Then returned...and they had no business having the children returned!...so, yes, laws have been broken..but if the children are loved, nurtured & cherished, why are the kids being taken from the love & protection they know ( the mother)?

I"m sure I"m not articulating this well....the whole thing is a mess!

Valarie Lea said...

I really don't understand all this either. I don't agree with the way they lived, but those poor chldren and their mothers. My thoughts are why not take the men somewhere else. Leave the children with there Mothers and try to sort things out there at the ranch. Take the men the ones who are accused to a different facility. I just think it could be handled differently.

Tara @ Feels Like Home said...

It's heartbreaking. I'm bummed not seeing my kid for a couple hours a day, so I just can't imagine the anguish the women and their babies are feeling. Let's pray for the quickest possible resolution to the whole mess.

Happy Mommy said...

To be honest, I have thought alot about this! I think the whole 5 wife thing is of course wrong! I also think baby's being separated from their mother is wrong, But- these mom's have allowed men (grown 40 and 50 year old men) to have sex with their 11 and 12 year old daughters, this is really wrong. The mothers are staying in the compound, now that the police are involved they can leave, But- they choose not to! Wow!
Now don't you all think that if these supposedly happy multi-marriages were as happy and loving as they claim and they truly thought they were doing no wrong these husbands would insist that the mothers stay with the children until the whole mess was worked out?
I think for now as sad as it maybe and as scary for these little children, they are probable in a better safer place.
Thats my opinion for what it's worth...

Lisa said...

Oh how cruel life can be and we are seeing it unfold in Texas. Makes it very close to home. As a retired police officer and a former foster parent I assure you this is painful all the way around. No one enjoys taking a child from its parent, mother or father. But as one writer expressed the mothers have failed to protect these children. And if you think about it, many of the men are victims to brainwashing as well. We do not understand this being strong Christian faith based people. I have witnessed many women who have been abused return to their abuser after I risked my life getting her out of the dangerous situation. Most officers got mad at those women, but when you are defeated in life, berated etc, you return to the one thing that is constant in your life. Right or wrong many of these women just do not know how to survive in a healthy normal life. So please be careful when you get angry at the "government" for taking the children away. It is a no win situation. If the government did not step in, the public would be furious that we didn't protect them. But these mothers are not fit to take care of these children by "our" standards. So if we want the children to be safe and protected then we "government" has to do what is right. It is the ugly part of the job. We can not just look the other way because it hurts to see them seperated. We have to have the courage to do what is right, even when it is not popular, comfortable, or easy.
I need to post about my foster children and tell you there story, but the two girls actually read my blog everyday and I am not sure that would be fair to them. Even 10 years later I am one of their best friends and confidaunts(sp?) as an adult. And guess what, even after years of abuse and continued abuse after they were returned to their parents,(mom got them back and moved to another state!!) those girls still want, crave and need the attention and love of their parents. Human nature/love is a very strong controlling feeling. These Texas children need to be protected even from those that love them. How cruel life can be.

Marcy Massura said...

I too have struggled with this..One one hand I am ELATED they are finally doing something about these sick, perverse and evil group (it is not the polygamy that gets me- it is the making children marry at age 12 or 13 to men 3x their age, and then they have a baby every 9 months)....but my heart aches for the little ones. I have been praying for God to provide perfect foster homes for each and everyone. Not as good as their moms, but someplace to shelter them with love. I know God will watch these souls..and comfort them

Dawn @ simply transparent said...

Dearest Blogger friend (s) with a BIG heart (s),

"the media is our only source of information"
and on that note than it's also fair to say we don't have ALL the FACTS.
Anything that sells, right?

What's even worse about this is how it will now cause some undo grief on the Texas Home School Coalition. Making a big stink for all others who have a desire to train up there own children at home daily :0/

Sidebar: the picture posted, (worth a thousand words)
can you see the way they "look" not unkept infact before this you may have sat across the restruant from them and thought "wow, what good children,so well behave and kept"... however to assume anything makes us all wrong.

Understanding in ALL things "GOD the FATHER knows and witnesses all while allowing what is in HIS will to happen, just knowing that HE is in charge, It in HIS Word but don't take my word for it go look for yourselves.

~Dawn :0)

Cassondra said...

I believe that some of the moms are victims. some were born into this lifestyle and know nothing else. I think maybe the babies should be left with the moms, but the older children do not need to stay with the moms, who would still be teaching them that we are all devils outside of their "religion." I am from Texas, and I think it's about time that some state did something about this abuse. Other states just turn a blind eye to it and allow it to continue to happen. Multiple wives and young girls married to dirty old men and having their babies is illegal.

Heather J. said...

This is a heavy topic, my friend. It weighs heavy on many a heart.

The children are in a sad situation, how scared and tired they must be. The only life they have known,one in which is NORMAL to them,is gone.....Along with their parents. It brings tears to my eyes.

The answer? I haven't a clue.
My Question, why?
Why did do some of the Older women think this was okay? Why is it okay for a 50-something man to marry a 15 year old girl and impregnate her?

My head spins and my stomach turns. I am always a little shocked to see how other humans defile other humans.

Sad.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

This whole issue disturbs me quite a bit. I'm with you in that something needed to be done, and that those women are as much victims as their children. I read an article on cnn.com yesterday (and now I can't find it of course) that really went over five issues that need to be resolved by this - and brought up great points on how what's being done isn't the 100% right way, but then, in a situation like this that "rewrites the rules" so to speak there may not be a better way. Regardless, I hope in the end good comes of this...its so messy it could easy go bad.

Suzie said...

Oh I am so with you on this one. My husband thinks Im crazy but I cant stop thinking about these families. Punish the men but you cant seperate mothers and children. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.But you do have to keep them safe. But I cant imagine how Id live being seperated from my kids for a day let alone months. There has to be a better way to handle this.

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you. My heart too has broken over those children being separated from their moms- unfortunately thats what happens when our government trys to "help". *sigh* my prayer is that God be ever so present with these little ones.

Anonymous said...

Seems like they could have handled this better. The children and their mothers needed help, yes, but to separate them when both groups are so vulnerable seems cruel.

And now those children will go to foster homes.

Couldn't a Christian Relief agency step in to help the mothers and children, keep them together, keep them living in a Christian environment, but at the same time, help acclimate them to modern life?

My two cents.

The Maid said...

I have ridden the fence on this issue because as Happy Mommy said, the mothers may very well be guilty of allowing young girls to wed and have sex with older men...abuse...but I also agree with so many other women who say that the kids being separated from their moms is an atrocity.

What I do KNOW for sure and think (opinion) is wrong is the way that they went in there with guns blazing armed to the hilt to force the children out of there. There was no paperwork served to these women and they were not given a chance to comply with other means of investigation.

I also have heard that the women and children are being lied to by the state and keep being made promises that are being broken. (You will get to go back to your mom...etc.)

Now I saw these women being interviewed on tv and think that the outfits and the hairdo's are attrocious...and that alone could be abuse..(joking)...but the women were so fake in their appeals. I think I would be far more distraught if it happened to me.

But, who knows but God.

I guess we can just pray for these precious mis-guided people.

Becky, the maid.

Vintage Dutch Girl said...

Thinking about my Bubbalu looking for me in a panic makes me almost cry.

I can't imagine what those mothers are feeling right now.

Like you said, it's not like they had a choice, they were kids themselves when they were "married"...

The Fritz Facts said...

I have debated on posting this same topic, but wasn't sure where to go with it.

I am concerned for the children, as we all are. Girls being hurt by the people they should be able to trust the most in the world, and boys being taught that it is ok. It is such a difficult situation, one that none of us can fully understand.

Oh, and the chicken pox...two children had it when they were taken from the compound, many more were sure to get exposed to it being together.

I am with few on the topic of the mothers. There are some mothers staying with the children. Any child that is currently being breastfed has their mother, and will have their mother in foster care. They are also the mothers of other children.

With that, comes the chance that the mothers knew about what would happen with the young girls, and did nothing to stop it. That must be taken into account.

We will never know the entire story, as there are many sides to it. All we can do is pray for these children, and hope they are ok in the end.

polkadot said...

I was reading about it in the SF Chronicle today and when I read the kids were being released to our broken foster care system, I thought -- wow. From the frying pan to the fire. No easy answers here.

Anonymous said...

I think its evil what the government has went in there and done to the children.

If someone there has broken a law, PUNISH THE LAWBREAKER, but NOT THE CHILDREN!
But from what I am hearing now, they can find NO EVIDENCE of any illegal activity. The deal is, the DHS gets tens of thousands for every kid they put in their system and the public school system gets thousands for every one of those kids who get put in their system (they were homeschooled), so some judge or whomever, is just sitting back, hoping for some more government funding for their district. It is nothing shy of evil!

And the media...the cracked-pot media.... making a fuss about their long hair (which the Bible says is their glory) and their long dresses (the Bible tells them to dress modestly)....... while Fox News has half-dressed women hosting!

It's okay to stir up lust in men's hearts, but your crazy if you cover your body....ewwwww!

Sorry,lol, you asked what we thought:-)

Andrea said...

The fact of the matter is that teh gov't is probably as clueless as what to do in this situation. No one can be trusted, including the mothers and it is so unfortunate. The mothers have been a part of all that had gone on and they are so completely brainwashed and blind they don't see how their children have suffered or the emotional and physical damage that has been done.
It's all sick. What I really don't understand is how this can all happen and nobody does anything about it before it gets out of hand.

Tracy DeLuca said...

I am unfamiliar with this so I really am having a hard time understanding what these people have done. I am going to have to go read up on it. But, if the mothers are not guilty of a crime then they should NEVER have been seperated from their children.

Lisa said...

There are laws being broken by the women/mothers...It is called failure to protect and that is against the law. That is why the women are not getting their children back. We do need to be careful about our judgements for we are all basing opinions off of the media. I can assure you we the public do not have all the facts and those doing the investigations will gather them. Children must be placed in protective custody, I hate it too that they are going to foster care but what are the other solutions? Group homes for them all? This is terrible for everyone. It is not about home school, or mulitiple wives, it is about the treatment of children. And it is the same every where. When a child needs to be protected they take them from THEIR home. It is sad, but until we have a better solution we have to go with what we can do best. Please do not say that they need to go to a "Christian" home to be protected. I think I know what you mean, but I have a friend in Nebraska who's daughter was raped by the Christian Home Directors son. Strong Christian home for wayward children. Abuse happens everywhere, the evils of the world surround us all and we must pray that God will be with the courts, the law enforcement officers and all of those that will come to the aid of these innocent children. So many will suffer from this, not just the victims.

Anonymous said...

I haven't addressed this on my own blog, because I just can't find the right words yet. I have studied the Morman church recently because we had missionaries coming to our door and I wanted to discuss their beliefs with them. I don't think anyone can truly understand the degree of brainwashing that occurs. In comparison, my kids are being brainwashed by my convictions. I am telling them that they were created by God to bring glory to him. To an unbeliever that doesn't believe like I do would say that I am brainwashing my kids. We do not truly know what they teach...it is wrong and not biblical as they claim. These moms who are "choosing" to stay at the compound; in their mind they have no choice. To them disobediance results in eternal consequences. They truly fear what would happen if they did leave. They do not understand grace as Jesus taught it to be.
I don't understand why the children were removed and not the men. Are not the men (brainwashed and all) to blame...well in our eyes they are. To them they have done nothing wrong because Joseph Smith said that God told him that multiple wives earns you a special place in Heaven. The more the better.
I think our system messed up here. I do not believe in the CPS system at all & I will not go into my details on why here. But, they very often go after the wrong parents and kids are tramatized forever. I hope they are prepared to offer special counseling for these kids & it is NOT Dr. Phil!
This is sad, but part of God's plan in their lives. Hard to understand, but it isn't our place to understand God's ways, He tells us that His ways are not our ways. We think life should be fair..like we deserve fair. Sinners do not deserve fair!
We say that we should pray, but it feels like we could do more, but maybe that is the more that HE wants us to do. Praying for those who you know do not believe nor pray to the same God you do can be life changing!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I came over to your blog off of BlogHer ads...but I have read some of the comments and let me just say from someone that is "Mormon"...we are not FLDS...so this group is not a part of the church that has been nicknamed "Mormons"...come on over to my site and read the post entitled: Word-filled Wednesday: (LDS does not = FLDS) There is a link to another article that explains in more detail...so I don't have to write a big ol' comment on it!

But as for my opinion on what is happening over there...well it is very sad...I feel really bad for the mothers...some of them though, do wish to stay and maintain the life they had because it is all they know...and the "outside" world is probably very scary to them...but unfortunately it looks like there is also a lot of abuse and that is never condoned by me...despite religion! I hope it gets resolved...the kids should be able to stay with their mothers...putting them in the system with the state could be just as bad as returning them to the "harsh" environment they have been in...at least for some of them...I don't like grouping EVERYONE under the same umbrella!

Shelle

Becca M. said...

So sad! Those poor kids... and moms (some of which are still kids). It's awful to think about how warped human nature has to become for those situations to happen.

Heather said...

http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/

Deputy Headmistress has been keepig close tabs on this situation.

SO MANY laws are bring broken here - and not by the families. And so far he state has NO evidece that 11 and 12 year olds are being forced to have sex with 40-50 year old men. And the alleged phone call that started this farce was a HOAX.

I in no way endorse plural marriage - or the FLDS culture - but if the govenment can do this there - they can do it to anyone.